This is a guest post by Mina Button.
The idea of wearing a butt plug outside the bedroom is an exciting one. It shows up in lots of erotica, especially in connection with the idea of "anal training," where a submissive learns to open up their ass for their Dominant. It has the potential to be really hot, making a sub think about how their Dominant is opening them up and keeping them that way for as long as they like, demonstrating power and ownership in a very noticeable way. Unfortunately, it also has the potential to be uncomfortable and annoying.
I'm here to help minimize that last possibility.
I've been doing anal training on and off with my Dominant for a few years now, and I'm going to share the secrets of my success with wearing anal toys for long periods of time--by which I mean anywhere from an hour or two to overnight.
Before You Start
Despite the super hot concept of "anal training," I would highly recommend gaining some in-bedroom anal experience before embarking on an extended-wear journey. If you've never experienced any sort of anal penetration before, it can take a bit of experimenting to get used to the feeling. Fingers are an awesome way to start, either solo or with a partner. Use plenty of lube, and take your time. Anal penetration should never hurt. Once you're familiar with the sensations involved and your body, you can work on wearing a plug.
Choosing Your Plug
When choosing a butt plug for extended wear, you want to be sure to pick one that will stay in place. I know this sounds obvious, but a lot of very slender plugs have a tendency to slip out as easily as they slip in. Pick something that has a (relatively) fat middle and a narrow neck. Obviously, you also want a plug with a flared base. The base should be larger than the largest part of the insertable portion of the toy, to keep it firmly anchored outside the anal sphincter.
Material is another consideration when choosing your butt plug. Silicone and glass are both great options, as both are non-porous, easy to clean, and relatively light weight. While stainless steel plugs are gorgeous, they might be a little on the heavy side for extended wear. Silicone is can have more give to it than glass, but also has more friction. Glass is super smooth, but very, very firm.
Silicone plugs with a round base can cause uncomfortable friction if you're up and walking around a lot during the day. More and more plugs are designed with long, thin bases to comfortably fit between the wearer's butt cheeks. Glass plugs have much less friction, but obviously your mileage may vary.
Wearing Your Plug
It is a really good idea to do a trial run or three at home before you take your plug out on the town. Wear your plug while you do chores (if you have chores that you do) or just while hanging out. It may take a few tries before you feel comfortable and confident enough to venture out of the house with your plug in place.
Talk through the specifics with your Dominant, and plan out goals for how long you'll be wearing your plug, and circumstances under which you might need to remove it. This is one of those situations where, no matter how much we might want it to be, real life is not a pornographic novel. While it's hot to think that you can't take it out no matter what, it's far better to have a plan in place and not need it than to need it and not have it.
Use lube! I know I said that already, but I really can't emphasize it enough. When I started my training I definitely had lots of experience with all sorts of toys at home in the bedroom, but even then I underestimated how much lube I needed to comfortably wear a plug for hours at a time. Use more lube than you think you need, and don't be afraid to add more. I carry a bottle of nice, thick water-based lube in my purse for exactly this reason.
Movin' On Up...
While a lot of the time people talk about anal training in terms of "stretching," it's actually a lot more about learning how to relax the anal sphincter muscles. Having more muscle control is helpful with receiving larger toys/body parts, and practice and warm-up make perfect!
As you get more comfortable with longer-term butt plug wear, you will probably eventually want to move up to larger plugs and/or longer periods of wear (or your Dominant will want you to). As exciting as things are, remember not to rush right to the largest plug you can find. You may need to try wearing a larger plug at home first, or go back to a smaller plug on certain days. Don't feel like you're failing if this is the case--keep your Dominant informed and let them know if something is going on with your body that may make training difficult that day.
Going slow, using plenty of lube, and, of course, communication are the most important ingredients for pleasurable, hot butt play, and this is true for long-term plug wear or training as much as it is for any other anal adventures. Happy plugging!
Mina Button is a queer submissive femme who has been active in the BDSM community since 2009, and serving her current Dominant since 2011. Her day job is as a sex educator for a small toy boutique. Mina blogs at minabutton-kinky-blogging.com