Dear LunaKM,
I am in a 24/7, M/s relationship. My Master is into what is called, "bimbofication". I have been sort of a tomboy most of my life. I knew getting into this relationship that there would be not only behavior modification, but also physical modifications as well. While I am pretty excited to try all these new things that come along with bimbofication, sometimes I get overwhelmed because it's not what I'm used to. From simply painting my nails, to wearing high-heels and dresses, to tanning and even breast augmentation...it's all new and nothing like who I have been in my 28 years of life. I almost started crying the other day because I had to wear a dress to a situation that I believed to be inappropriate for a dress. I also have an idea in my head that things like short dresses and high-heels are slutty, and that I am a slut if I wear them. I also hate feeling like I'm giving off a "hey! Look at me!" Impression to other people. I feel like my Master has done a great job with moving in baby steps, yet I still get overwhelmed. How can I stop from feeling overwhelmed by all these changes? How can I overcome associating feminine things with sluttiness?
Bimbofication is a rather interesting fetish and one that many don't know anything about. In simple terms it's about turning a woman into a real life Barbie. From overly feminine clothing and makeup, to beauty treatments and behavior modification to adopt a high-heeled, sometimes ditzy personality.
Unfortunately for you, I have a feeling that your partner likes the "look at me" aura you are giving off and loves showing off who's on his arm in public. It's part of the fetish to show off his Barbie doll. So, learning to like the feeling and impression you convey is going to be difficult and thankfully you say he's taking things in baby steps so he probably understands the immense change he's asking of you.
Bimbo doesn't automatically indicate you are a slut, but you have to ask yourself and him if that's part of his plan. If he wants you to embrace slutty behavior then you have some work to do to rewrite your definition into something positive. Femininity can be empowering if you allow it to. The positive looks you get from others can be powerful for you.
The feeling of being overwhelmed is part of being new to something and getting it all too fast. It's also part of the learning curve. Your partner is working to mold you into an image that he finds pleasing according to his fetish. If you've accepted to become his Bimbo then you have to work to learn how to accept the accouterments that go with it. Adapting to change is always hard, and going out of your comfort zone for it is even harder. I sympathize with you. Let me suggest a few things that might help you work out your feelings and help you accept your position as his Bimbo.
1. Journal your feelings. It doesn't have to be online. A paper journal is fine, and if he allows you to keep it private then you can do that too. Writing about how you feel throughout the changes will help you settle them and open up your ability to talk about them with your partner.
2. Talk to you partner; frequently and intimately about how you feel. Don't consider anything too silly or inappropriate.
3. Join FetLife and the Bimbofication groups there to gain support and community. Bimbofication Group on FetLife
I wish you luck as you embark on this journey. Enjoy the ride!