When I started exploring BDSM and D/s relationships in 2003, there weren't a lot of resources available. Those available were considered bibles of BDSM, which are essential reading for those who wanted books to read. (This seems self-serving since they were the only resources; people suggested reading them.) But now, the world of books and ebooks on BDSM and D/s topics is growing. I love books. They don't disappear like websites; you can refer to them frequently. And that's why I made this list. These are books that I've pulled off the shelf time and again because the information was great, the author spoke to me, or I've used it to learn about things I have little experience with.

Check out this list and see if there are any books you'd like to add to your resource library.

1. Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns by Philip Miller and Molly Devon

The classic guide to sadomasochism by two experienced players. This unabashed, entertaining book strips away myth, shame, and fear, revealing the truth about an intense form of eroticism too long misunderstood and condemned. It is fully indexed and includes over 225 photos and illustrations, a 250-plus word glossary, and appendices with over 650 contacts for SM-related clubs, stores, craftspeople, and literature. -- from Amazon.com

Screw the Roses, Send Me the Thorns was the first book I purchased when I was looking for knowledge that I couldn't find on the internet (still in its infancy). It was a revelation for me to connect with something that I had sensed was different about me but couldn't put into words. It was one of the significant turning points in my D/s and BDSM life to have something staring me in the face with the terminology that I longed to know and understand.

While the book is older and needs an update, it has beautiful illustrations and basic techniques that will always be in style. Just don't rely on the appendices for contact information—much of that is long defunct. I still think it's a great book to read and reference, especially if you are new to BDSM and want to get the gist of things before exploring on your own.

Check out more of my opinion on the book in my review, and then check out the Amazon listing for more reviews and to purchase it for yourself.

2. The Ritual of Dominance & Submission: A Guide to High Protocol Dominance & Submission by David English

Within these pages lay the elusive secrets to defining structure and ritual to alternative dominant/submissive and master/slave lifestyle dynamics within your personal life or your community. You will find a definitive resource for building, practicing, and maintaining rituals and protocols within your relationship or group without joining a secret society or convincing someone to mentor you on their private secrets for success. --from Amazon.com

I have just picked this book back up to read it through, this time taking notes because I forget some of the gems this book has. I love the author's thoughts on establishing any protocol, and the examples of what it could look like make it a unique book on my shelf. KnyghtMare and I are always looking for ways to add more protocol and ritual to our dynamic, and this book has been a fantastic resource to refer to time and again as we build the relationship that fulfills us and brings us joy.

I realize this book might not suit everyone's tastes, as establishing any sort of protocol can be a kink in itself, but it does give you some great insight into why people who do have protocol enjoy it and how to relate to people you might meet that are a protocol couple. If you want to understand the many different relationship styles, you should take advantage of this book. It covers an often covert niche of D/s dynamics that I find fascinating!

Curious? Read more of my review of this book on the site and then pick up your copy at Amazon.com!

3. Playing Well with Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities by Lee Harrington and Mollena Williams

Whether you're a trembling novice or a jaded expert, there's always something new to be discovered in the endlessly changing, complex, and titillating world of kink. While there are plenty of other books out there that explain how to give a spanking or tie a half-hitch, Playing Well With Others is the first book that explains kink culture -- the munches, parties, leather bars, conferences, workshops, fetish nights, exploratoriums and all the other gatherings of kinksters that turn BDSM and leather from a bedroom predilection to a lifestyle and a community. -- from Amazon.com

I chipped in when I heard this book was being written and a Kickstarter campaign was up to get it published. First, it's written by two of my favorite BDSM educators, and second, it's on a topic that I feel needs to be out there and handled well. The authors did a fantastic job.

I have raved over time and again about this book because it's an excellent guide for people wishing to leave their homes and meet the community. So much of what we already know about munches and conventions is through first-hand accounts. None of it lays down common sense guidelines that a newcomer could use. It helps you learn how to interact with the people in the community - something many could understand.

If you want to explore the local and regional communities, check out my review and pick up your copy on Amazon.com.

4. Enough To Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation by Princess Kali

Erotic humiliation goes far beyond the “Lick my boots!” stereotype. Princess Kali, a famous former Dominatrix, and world-renowned Humiliatrix, throws open the dungeon doors to explore the complex desires that fuel this kind of psychological play for both dominants and submissives. Using both personal experience and extensive interviews, she shares advice and detailed ideas for a broad range of embarrassing, humiliating, and degrading ways to enjoy consensual kinky fun. Important concepts such as communication, negotiation, consent, triggers, aftercare, and more are also covered.

I know I've talked about this book a lot since it came out, and I admit to being a Ms. Kali fangirl, but the content is impressive and very helpful for anyone exploring humiliation play.

Humiliation play is challenging because it can lead to disaster, but when you learn how to do it safely, it can be a fantastic way to play. For those not interested in pain or impact play, consider adding a bit of humiliation play to your repertoire.

Are you wondering how humiliation can be added to your play? Check out my review and then visit Amazon.com.

5. BDSM Mastery-Relationships:: a guide for creating mindful relationships for Dominants and submissives by Robert Rubel, Ph.D., and Jen Fairfield

You might ask, are "BDSM Relationships?" These are "adventuresome" relationships. Relationships that are not exactly like vanilla relationships. BDSM relationships differ in two specific ways from your typical vanilla relationship: first, they usually involve a power-imbalanced structure (one person is clearly in charge, and the other person is clearly following); second, the kind of sex that adventuresome folks practice is, well, not vanilla. I wrote this book to help you better understand the power dynamics that get involved with what are called power-imbalanced relationships (usually referred to as Dominant/submissive or D/s relationships).

The core of this book is learning how to set up and nurture a D/s relationship. I highly suggest everyone new to or changing their relationship to D/S pick up a copy and refer to it while building their personal dynamic. Clearly, the D/s relationship style is the same as vanilla but different, right? Wrong. With this book, you'll begin to see how to mold your identities and make the best of your relationship. I've read through this book twice and keep it on the shelf for reference.

Read my review and then pick up your copy at Amazon.com.

6. Leading and Supportive Love by Chris M. Lyon

_Have you felt 'left out' of the traditional relationship self-help books because you derive great pleasure from following your partner's requests and direction on many things in your life? Or do you respond to the natural inclination to guide, direct, and protect your partner? Are your friends and family having difficulty understanding that your relationship works more like a captain and first mate on a boat? If so, this innovative book, Leading and Supportive Love, the Truth about Dominant and Submissive Relationships, can help with a clearer understanding of yourself, your relationship, and acceptance of those you love and care for. _

The book omits all references to D/s or BDSM, so if your partner is a bit freaked out by those terms, try this book. It's also a FANTASTIC book for counselors, so understand your relationship without muddying up the conversation with BDSM terms. I've used this book numerous times to discuss how my relationship differs from others and help my friends understand why I defer to KnyghtMare for decision-making and whatnot.

I've got a review on this site, and you can grab your own copy at Amazon.com.

7. Where I am Led: A Service Exploration Workbook by Christina Parker

This book is for slaves who wish to perfect their lives through daily, weekly, and monthly written exercises. The thoughtful and provoking assignments lead the novice to a higher understanding of the slave culture. This is a revised and expanded second edition of Parker's "The Path of Service."

I am very impressed with this workbook because of the personal growth I felt as I worked through "The Path to Service." I'm a sucker for journal prompts and activities that can better myself and my submission, and this book does what it says. It helps you explore service submission. I have paid it forward and written about what I learned here on the site for you to learn from. This is a valuable workbook to have in your collection.

Read my review, and then get your own at Amazon.com.

8. Living M/s: A Book for Masters, slaves, and Their Relationships by Dan and Dawn Williams

This is a book based on the experience of a couple who has been living together as Master and slave for well over a decade and covers such topics as: the challenges of living as an M/s couple, building your own M/s dynamic, changing terminology, the communities of M/s and BDSM and how they dance together (and apart); styles of D/s and M/s; Ms and polyamory; leather; orchestrating situations with multiple slaves, as well as many other topics.

When I first read this book, I was just embracing my new label as a slave and felt inadequate at times. As I slipped through the pages, I learned that what I thought was "right" was a simple misunderstanding of my own definitions. Yes, we were leading an M/S life long before I called myself a slave, and this book reaffirmed what I thought of M/S relationships. If you've wanted a glimpse into the world of 24/7 TPE, then this is your best first book to pick up.

Submissive Guide hosted a book club event on this book, and I reviewed it, too. You can pick up your own copy at Amazon.com.

9. The New Bottoming Book by Janet W. Hardy and Dossie Easton

Almost a decade ago, the first Bottoming Book taught tens of thousands of people that bottoming - being a submissive, masochist, slave, 'boy' or 'girl, ' or other BDSM recipient -- is as much an art as topping. Since then, the growing popularity of BDSM and the blossoming of the Internet as a source of information and connection have created a whole new universe of possibilities for players. Now, the completely updated revised New Bottoming Book gives even more insights and ideas, updated for a new millennium, about how to be a successful, popular bottom!

When a book gets updated, you never know if it will be as great as the first edition, but Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton deliver! This book focuses more on the play aspects of a relationship, about casual play at parties and the bottom's role in many other situations. If the whole 24/7 outside-the-bedroom submission isn't for you, this book is the one you want. It's perfect for bedroom players and BDSM enthusiasts of all kinds. It makes this list because it's one of those books that works no matter where you find yourself in your discovery.

Read my review here, and grab one for yourself at Amazon.com.

Ultimately, I hope you use this to guide your next learning experience. Do you have a book or two you've read numerous times and highly recommend?