There is plenty of questioning the 24/7 TPE M/s dynamic. Is it healthy? Is it even realistically possible? I wanted to share my thoughts on why it is not only healthy and realistic in real world application, but it creates incredibly happy and successful relationships.
So quickly it has become the standard and expectation of a relationship to do everything 50/50. I hear it in the world all the time.
"Marriage is a 50/50 partnership."
"We do everything 50/50."
"We are equally involved in childcare, bills, work, etc."
I genuinely think this stems from good intentions of equality.
Then life becomes complicated. If this 50/50 notion is indicative of a sliding scale of participation in a relationship, how do we even start to quantify things that cannot be so? Determine half of "emotional support." Put a value on one partner's career versus the others. Balance precisely caring about yourself and caring for your significant other. Weigh their importance against yours every day. It leads to often feeling sacrificed.
Because, in fact, in a 50/50 relationship, you are 50% responsible for your own well being.
Better hope it is the right 50% this week, lest you feel burdened. Or lonely. Or angry because you are carrying 75% of the load. Looking back, when the MR and I were living in a vanilla, egalitarian relationship, I was just plain exhausted from trying to maintain the 50/50 balance in life. And I think my husband was too.
"Life's most persistent and urgent question is, 'What are you doing for others?'" -Martin Luther King
In Total Power Exchange, you are shifting the scales. It becomes a 100/100 relationship. The Master becomes entirely, completely one hundred percent in control of relationship functions. It is his or her complete power over the other person. The slave, in turn has given up control but gains one hundred percent of life serving the Master in how Master deems fit.
All of a sudden, a relationship becomes simple. Each person knows exactly their place. They have specific obligations. They have understood roles. They have an answer in every situation. The Master is 100 percent in control of the slave. The slave is 100 percent owned by the Master.
Think about how selfless this relationship style actually is. As a slave, I give my entirety of my being to serving MR 100% of the time. But in turn, I know he is doing what is very best for me 100% of the time. We are both always provided for completely.
100% of the time.
And it is by caring for somebody else before yourself. What an altruistic path in life to take. On both sides.
Slave thinks of Master first 100%. Master thinks of slave first 100%.
There is no grey here in this dynamic. Just black and white, yin and yang, two imperfect pieces fitting together perfectly, filling in where the other leaves off seamlessly.
"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile." -Albert Einstein
Do you feel like you try to balance contributing to your relationship 50/50? Has this ever left you feeling frustrated? Have you ever considered giving up 100 percent of control in your dynamic? What are your fears in doing so?