Every once and awhile, I get a message from a friend on Facebook or a reader asking me about polyamory resources since they know I’m in a polyamorous relationship. My usual response is give me a few days and I’ll get back to them after I go through my bookmarks so, I thought it would be useful to have links and resources in one place. I also thought it would be a good idea to share those resources with Submissive Guide readers as well.
Fetlife
There are a TON of polyamorous groups on Fetlife. I did some searching and found a handful of groups that most might find helpful.
This is Fetlife’s biggest polyamorous group. There are tons of threads all dealing with different aspects of polyamory.
The title says it all. People come here to ask questions to other people about polyamorous relationships.
How to balance being in a polyamorous relationship and dealing with children.
This group is for people who are not only in a power exchange relationship, but polyamorous well.
This group is for those individuals who are in a mongamous relationship with someone who is polyamorous.
Like with Poly & Kinky, this is another group where people can ask questions and discuss topics about polyamory.
This group hasn’t been very active recently, but there are a lot of past threads and a list of some great resources listed.
Books
There are A TON of books out there written about polyamorous relationships. There’s no possible way that I could list them all. The ones I am including are ones that I have read myself or have had recommended to me by others.
The Ethical Slut by Janet Hardy and Dossie Easton
For anyone who has ever dreamed of love, sex, and companionship beyond the limits of traditional monogamy, this groundbreaking guide navigates the infinite possibilities that open relationships can offer. Experienced ethical sluts Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy dispel myths and cover all the skills necessary to maintain a successful and responsible polyamorous lifestyle--from self-reflection and honest communication to practicing safe sex and raising a family. Individuals and their partners will learn how to discuss and honor boundaries, resolve conflicts, and to define relationships on their own terms. You can read lunaKM’s review of the book here.
Opening Up: A Guide to Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships by Tristan Taormino
Relationship expert and bestselling author Tristan Taormino offers a bold new strategy for creating loving, lasting relationships. Drawing on in-depth interviews with over a hundred women and men,Opening Up explores the real-life benefits and challenges of all styles of open relationships — from partnered non-monogamy to solo polyamory. With her refreshingly down-to-earth style and sharp wit, Taormino offers solutions for making an open relationship work, including tips on dealing with jealousy, negotiating boundaries, finding community, parenting and time management. Opening Up will change the way you think about intimacy. You can read my review of this book here.
Power Circuits: Polyamory in a Power Dynamic by Raven Kaldera
Power Circuits is an alliance between two alternative lifestyles: polyamory, or multiple open and honest romantic relationships; and power dynamics, relationships that choose to be consciously and deliberately unequal in power, such as dominant/submissive or master/slave. Both lifestyles are on the cutting-edge frontiers of romantic and sexual relating, and for a long time practitioners of both have found little sympathy in either camp. This is the first book of its kind that navigates the waters of effective polyamory and power exchanges, with many essays from the brave practitioners who swim there.
More Than Two: A Practical Guide to Ethical Polyamory by Franklin Veaux and Eve Rickert
This wide-ranging resource explores the often-complex world of living polyamorously: the nuances (no, this isn t swinging), the relationship options (do you suit a V, an N, an open network?), the myths (don't count on wild orgies and endless sex but don't rule them out either!) and the expectations (communication, transparency and trust are paramount). More Than Two is entirely without judgment and peppered with a good dose of humor. In it the authors share not only their hard-won philosophies about polyamory, but also their hurts and embarrassments. Living poly is not always an easy road, and they hope that by reading this book, you'll avoid some of the mistakes they've made along the way.
Polyamory in the 21st Century: Love and Intimacy with Multiple Partners by Deborah Anapol
Unlike other books on this topic, Polyamory in the 21st Century weaves together research and facts to provide an informed and impartial analysis of polyamory as a lifestyle and as a movement, and to place it in a psychosocial as well as an historical context. Anecdotes and personal experiences allow the reader to develop a better understanding of polyamory and the people who practice and enjoy it. Anapol addresses the practical, the utopian, and the shadow sides of this intriguing, mysterious, yet often threatening lifestyle. It honestly addresses difficult issues such as the nature of commitment without exclusivity, balancing personal needs with loyalty to a partner, evaluating beliefs about love and relationship, the impact of polyamory on children, and the challenges that arise when one partner wants monogamy and another prefers polyamory. Without judgement, she explores this increasingly common practice, and reveals the true nature of a lifestyle that many do not understand.
The Jealousy Workbook by Kathy Labriola
A counselor and nurse specializing in polyamorous singles, couples and groupings, Kathy Labriola has spent many years helping people to understand and manage their jealousy. This book is a compendium of the techniques and exercises she has developed, as well as tips and insights from the polyamory community's top educators, therapists and authors. These accessible, simple techniques are designed to be easily implemented in the event of an intense jealousy crisis. They are even more useful if undertaken over a period of time before a jealousy crisis happens, to build a skill set that will be at hand to help managing jealousy when and if it does occur.
Also, to find more books about polyamorous relationships, you can click here and check out Polyamory in the News blog’s book section which includes articles about books and reviews as well.
Websites
This website covers anything polyamorous that is in the media, including Internet articles, books, television series, and conferences.
This website is run by The Goddess of Java and is dedicated to the idea that you can be polyamorous, make good choices for your life and not let being poly mean you’re cutting a swath of chaos and destruction into the world around you.
Loving More® is a national 501c3 nonprofit organization, educational website, online community and magazine dedicated to support and education of polyamory and polyamorous issues. Loving More has been supporting the polyamorous community both nationally and internationally for more than twenty six years and a charitable nonprofit since 2006.
More Than Two is the home of Franklin Veaux’s pages about polyamory and ethical non-monogamy.
There are many wonderful sites on the web for information about polyamory. This page is meant as a short list of some of the best of them. This site is a “front door” for people just finding out about polyamory, and want to know where to start, or for those who are involved with someone who is polyamorous.
This is a personal blog by Kitty Chambliss and her experiences with being involved in polyamorous relationships.
OpeningUp.net is a website for people interested in open relationships of all kinds, including monogamy with benefits, nonmonogamy, partnered nonmonogamy, swigning, polyamory, polyfidelity, solo polyamory, mixed orientation marriages, and other relationships styles beyond monogamy. It features a blog, an extensive resource guide, message boards, and the Open List, a list of professionals (therapists, social workers, psychiatrists, psychologists, consultants, relationship and life coaches, doctors, lawyers, etc.) who are experienced and knowledgeable about alternative sexuality, lifestyles, and relationships. The site is also an online “home base” for the book Opening Up and its author, Tristan Taormino.
Social Media Sites
While some people may not be fans of Reddit, and while there can be some huge idiots on the site, there are also a lot of people who genuinely do want to help others. I haven’t looked through all the threads, but there are a lot of great topics going on.
A 100% FREE polyamorous dating & social networking community site specifically for polyamorous singles, and poly-curious singles.
PolyMatchMaker.com (PMM) is about finding others who believe in ethical non-monogamy, open relationships, open sexuality, equality, freedom, choice, love, sexuality, sincerity, hope, trust, happiness, and especially Polyamory.
PolyamoryNetwork.com is a private social network dedicated to polyamory for members only (Completely Free). It's a place where you can share thoughts, opinions and experiences related to everything polyamory.
The 100% free Polyamorous dating and Polyamory dating and social network community site. What is the definition of Polyamory? Find research, reviews, information and articles on polyamory. For more information on different types and varieties of polyamory, read through our glossarypage. Our purpose is to bring all types of families worldwide together in one place as a community. Whether you are poly dating or just looking to make polyamorous friends we welcome you.
I hope people who are interested in exploring polyamorous relationships find this list of resources helpful and I would love to hear about any resources that I may have missed or don’t know about.
