This is a guest post by Sephani. She contacted me via email with an interest in writing a post and here it is!
Long-distance relationships (LDR) of any sort have always had negative press reviews and I'm sure all of us have heard the, "they never work" response at some point in time. Lifestyle LDR has even more negative connotations as people harp on the inability to fully submit/dominate from a distance. I'm here to tell you that they can work. They have worked. You just have to make it work. Anything worth having is never easy to achieve and both parties have to really want it.
The biggest downside of LDR is the lack of physical contact, the personal connection that a lot feel to be a staple of the M/s relationship and in a lot of ways it is. There are ways to deal with the loss of this aspect and focus instead on other things you can do to bolster the relationship.
Sharing Personal Time:
When I inevitably have to return to America after my 6 month visa expires in the UK, Master and I find ways to share personal time. Personal time does
nothave to be intimate in nature but can lead to a level of intimacy that is very satisfying. Skype plays a big part in this so I suggest a decent webcam and microphone, you can buy the two in one for simplicity. I like to talk to Master while I cook, clean, do laundry and even shower or take a bath. While most of these every day scenarios are not sexually arousing, it creates an illusion of still being able to share your day with your significant other.
One of my favorite things to do via Skype is fall asleep together. Many times Master and I have been talking after one of us has gone to bed for the night and we'll fall asleep still connected. Often if I fall asleep, He'll continue to keep video running so He can keep an eye on me as I sleep which I find incredibly comforting. Sometimes I'd wake up and He'll of called me up while I'm still asleep so He gets to be there as soon as I open my eyes. Lets face it, waking up to our partner is one of the many pleasures of being in a relationship.
I cannot stress this one enough. Exchanging some sort of communication from both parties every day is vital. Even if Master was not available to reply, I still sent messages every time I left the house, went somewhere other than work, if I was heading to the shower..basically every time I was going to be away from my laptop and somewhere new. Now we have mobile yahoo messenger so it was easy to always keep track of what we were doing throughout the day but not everyone has that luxury, quick emails work just as well.
Daily journals are also a very useful tool as it gives the submissive a chance to sit down, collect her thoughts and tell her Master about her day, whats on her mind or anything new she might want to let Him know. Sometimes details gets lost throughout the day and end up spilling out when one sits down and loses themselves in the narrative. I know I've discovered things resting below the surface of my thoughts when I've sat down to type, things I wasn't even aware of on a conscious level.
Sharing Is Caring:
While I was back in America on this last LDR sting, Master slept on my side of the bed and used my pillows. I took some of His shirts and a hoodie back with me so I could have His scent around me. Of course over the course of 9 months they got washed a few times but they were still His and it was nice to have that tangible connection to Him.
I can't even count how many pictures I sent to Him while I was gone. Any time I went out, got dressed up for any occasion or even just because I bought a new item of clothing. Now my Master isn't much on taking pics of Himself (or letting anyone else do it) but I did get constant updates and pictures about our pet water dragon, George. It helped us stay connected to the new and the changes in each of our lives.
As with any relationship, trust and honest is essential. With LDR M/s relationships, its positively crucial to maintain this trust at all costs. Letting your dom know where you are, when your expected to be home and such things isn't enough. You also have to leave your "don't tattle" attitude on the playground, as a friend of mine so aptly put it. If you mess up, if you break a rule or forget a task, tell them! The only way domination can exist and flourish is if you admit your short comings, not just your successes.
They count on us to be honest with them, to let them know when we've failed and if we can't do that at a distance then we'll never manage it in person. If your hiding, your failing. Trust, honesty, loyalty and obedience. Give your all or don't bother because partial is not going to be enough for success.
Do Your Thing:
Do your own thing. There is no right or wrong way to submit, to have an M/s relationship. What works for one may not work for another so the key to any relationship, whether it be LDR or not, is to find what works for you and work at it. You have to make the effort, anything worth having is never easy to get. If you want it, go for it. The suggestions I pass on to you today have worked for me, I have 14 years under my belt with the same Master but while its worked well for us, it may not for you. Take my words, shift bits around and find the combination that suits both your needs :)
Sephani is a 27 yr old full time, TPE slave to her Master and fiancee. She's always enjoyed writing and helping other people, sharing experiences with others like me so she started blogging a little over a year ago at 'Turn The Paige' and have fallen in love with the community! She has a quirky (smart ass) sense of humor and is nearly impossible to offend!