I am a high maintenance submissive. I’m well aware of the work that my Master has to constantly do to keep me happy and to keep him well-pleased. I’m not ashamed of it because that is who I always have been and he loves me for it. He even encourages some of it. Much of what I reveal to him could be considered complaints. To some, I might be whiny. To Master, I am being transparent.

Being a low maintenance submissive is an admirable goal and one way to do that is to lessen the number of complaints you bring to your Dominant. However, keep in mind that some concerns are legitimate. I am trained to be more open to everything that is going on in my mind at any time than others, which works for my Dominant and myself. If you think you are complaining too much a good rule of thumb to deciding if a concern is worth bringing to your Dominant’s attention is the test, “will this bother me tomorrow?” If you answer no, then you should let it drop. If the answer is yes, you need to address it with your Dominant as soon as possible. So for many submissives, complaining of a headache might be something that is never brought up but a question about a new rule that you are learning would be something you need to talk about.

For me, not telling KnyghtMare that I have a headache is a violation of my rule to be transparent. He gets upset when I think that any physical ailment I have isn’t worth sharing with him.  Every concern I have is for him to decide if it’s worth having or not. In that way (and others) I am high maintenance.

Your concerns to not want to appear to complain overly much are valid, but in many established D/s relationships it’s not your right to withhold information, no matter how trivial with your partner. Talk with your Dominant about this concern and if they say that it’s not something they need to know about in the future than you are fine with keeping it to yourself.

Does this work in part-time or casual relationships? Not in the same way. You are responsible for expressing your concerns that relate to the relationship or with the play activities you may engage in, but from my experience, most part-time relationships are part-time for a reason. You need to concern yourself with much of what a full-time relationship Dominant may want to know.

Please remember though that just as there are so many of you, each relationship is unique and no matter what I say you should use your own relationship for figuring out what is a needless complaint and what is necessary to share with your Dominant.

On that note, don’t be afraid to share something with them. You should never be afraid to express concern and things that bother you with your partner. Fear erodes trust and trust is a cornerstone of a strong relationship.

Do you think you complain too much? Does your Dominant think so? Does this make you a high maintenance submissive? How do you handle complaints in your relationship?