I was on Tumblr one morning and I came across a picture of Johnny Depp and something he had said. Now, I had seen this particular picture several times and thought nothing of it in the past, but this last time I stumbled across it, I got thinking. The more I thought about this quote, the more upset I found myself getting. I also found myself thinking about the way Daddy and I live our lives.
If you love two people at the same time, choose the second one. Because if you really loved the first one, you wouldn’t have fallen for the second one. -- Johnny Depp
The reason why this particular quote upset me is because it’s being implied that it’s absolutely incapable to truly and fully love more than one person, which so isn’t the case. There isn’t an exact figure on how many people live in polyamorous relationships because a lot of those who do live in a polyamorous relationship doesn't exactly come out in the open due to fear of possible repercussions. Daddy and I are polyamorous and always have been. Both of us believe that we have enough love in our hearts for more than just each other. Even though both Daddy and I have had some not so successful attempts at a poly relationship, this hasn’t been enough to discourage us from being in another polyamorous relationship. Yes, Daddy and I are currently in a poly relationship even though it’s not exactly ideal for everyone involved. Even though our different circumstances may keep us from being with each other from living together, that doesn’t mean our love for each other is any less.
There are a lot of people out there who have a lot of misconceptions about poly relationships. They believe that polyamorous relationships are unethical, give a partner a way to sleep with other people, and that’s they’re mainly about lots and lots of sex, but those things are further from the truth. To me, being in a polyamorous relationship is about sharing my entire being with someone else other than just Daddy. Yes, being in a polyamorous relationship isn’t easy and takes a lot of work, but if all people involved are willing to make the relationship work, then it can work. It’s not easy because a balance has to be found between all involved and also communication. If the parties involved aren’t willing to communicate with one another, then the relationship is doomed from the start.
The poly relationship I am in now is my fourth one. My first poly relationship ended rather unfavorably. It was so terrible that I had almost sworn off the entire lifestyle because I didn’t think I could endure something like that again. It took me awhile before I was willing to enter another poly relationship because I was afraid of having a similar ending to the first. Even though the other two didn’t go exactly as I had planned, I still knew deep down that I have enough love for more than one person in my heart. I knew that being in this type of relationship wouldn’t come easy, that it would take more work and effort than being in just a monogamous relationship.
If one is going to enter a polyamorous relationship, the individual has to want to be in a poly relationship for themselves, not just because someone else wants them to. Entering a poly relationship just to please someone else or because that’s what you think they want or expect from you. If this is your reason for going into a polyamorous relationship, it’s going to fail. If you feel that you’re really a monogamous person and enter into a poly relationship, you’re going to struggle a great deal with feelings of jealousy and resentment because you’re in a relationship you didn’t really want to begin with. Yes, there is a chance that after getting involved in a poly relationship that your feelings may change, but that’s a very big if.
I have found being in a poly relationship a great way to get all of my needs met. Don’t get me wrong, I love Daddy dearly, but there are just some needs He can’t meet for me. It’s wonderful to have another female who I am extremely close to discuss and exchange ideas about the lifestyle and someone to share all my hopes and dreams with and encourage me as I make my way in life. I am even able to learn new things about myself with being in a poly relationship, even though things aren’t the way we would like them. I am able to prove to myself that yes, I truly do have enough love in my heart for more than just Daddy and that I can share Daddy and find joy in seeing Him interact with the other female in our poly family. I also see myself healing from old wounds caused by things that had been said or done in my past relationships.
For those of you who are already in a polyamorous relationship, considering entering a polyamorous relationship, or just curious, I highly recommend the book “The Ethical Slut” by Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy. I read this book as a request from Daddy. He knew before asking me to read it, that like Him, I am poly oriented, but still, He asked me to and I am glad that I did. Reading this book introduced me to some ideology that I had never thought of before. My favorite quote from the book is about faithfulness. The quote is “Faithfulness has very little to do with you have sex with. Faithfulness is about honoring your commitments and respecting your friends and lovers, about caring for their well-being as well as your own.” When I read those couple of sentences, I felt like I had been hit by a ton of bricks. Despite all my years, I had never thought to look at faithfulness as something else other than taking place in the bedroom. It was such a wonderful feeling to have my mind expanded in such a wonderful way.
There’s nothing wrong with being in a monogamous relationship. Not everyone is into having a polyamorous relationship and feels that they can share their significant other. But if you are interested in entering a polyamorous relationship, make sure to be doing so for the right reasons and doing it the right way.