The other day, my little sister gentlerayne, sent me a text message. She told me that I needed to check out this post in a Fetlife group. And boy, was she angry. Being angry isn’t her normal behavior. She’s very soft-spoken and a gentle soul. I knew whatever made her angry, was probably gonna irritate me as well. I was very much right in my thinking. Someone who calls himself a daddy(and I do use this term loosely) had asked a question. The question this young man had asked is if other daddies out there prefered their little girls to be in a specific age range and body type. He goes on in his post to say that he feels that adult females who consider themselves littles that are overweight and over a certain age(he specifically mentions women who are in their 40s and 50s), he can’t take them seriously as littles.
Now, I’m not one to tell someone how to live their life. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. While I strongly(and I mean VERY STRONGLY) disagree with what this member of Fetlife believes, that is okay because I don’t have to like everyone’s opinion. Just like everyone doesn’t have to like mine. But what he said, it’s something that a lot of littles struggle with already and is also a misconception by a lot of people who don’t understand the little dynamic.
I have already written an article about being a little and getting older and I don’t want to repeat what I’ve already said. While I think getting older is sometimes a difficult thing for most people in general, from what I’ve read from different threads on Fetlife, being a little and getting older tends to be just a tad more difficult than usual for those of us who are littles. It’s one of those tricky finding a balance and dealing with the biological age and to not get caught up in this mental loop that technically you’re too old to enjoy wearing pigtails and onsies. Like most people, we tend to be our own worst and toughest critics, beating ourselves up even more than what people outside the dynamic may do. I can’t speak for all the littles out there, but I know for myself, when I hear something like that from an individual, that because I’m a certain age makes me less of a little, it hurts. It hurts a lot. Not only do I feel like I’ve been kicked in the gut and the wind knocked out of me, but it jump starts that mental loop that I’m too old for this and start questioning and doubting myself.
I remember when I held the littles chat back in February, the topic of body dysphoria being attached to little space came up towards the end of the discussion. Everyone who was in attendance agreed that we struggle having adult bodies when we’re feeling much, much younger. This is a topic that I have seen pop up numerous times in little groups on both Facebook and Fetlife. These discussions range from dealing with having periods, to weight, to height, and everything you could possibly imagine in between. I’ve even talked to some littles who are bigger girls and it’s even more of a struggle because that cute little Lolita dress they’ve been jonesing after or the perfect onsie, doesn’t come in a big enough size. Even though it’s not meant to, it feels like another way that we’re being told “You’re not the right size to dress this way”, which tends to be another blow and make us question ourselves.
I kinda feel like I’ve been aimlessly rambling. When I set out to write this article, I had in mind this huge masterpiece, sounding all eloquent and stuff. I feel like I’ve missed the mark there, but what I am trying to say is, don’t judge a little by their cover. A little who is in their late fifties and overweight is just as much of a little who is in their early twenties and a size four. Appearance and age don’t make the little. When people do judge or say things like “You’re too whatever to be a little”, it hurts. It hurts a lot. Not only does it hurt, but those words have enough power to shatter someone on the inside in a way that may be unfixable. We littles tend to be very fragile creatures at times and needed to be treated as such. But the bottom line is, you’re never too old, too heavy, too tall, or too short to be who you really are.