Part of the typical criticism of D/s full-time is that it can't be real. No one can live 24/7 D/s. I hear it a lot. These people say that life gets in the way and you can't be Dominant and submissive all the time. The people that say they can't lead a 24/7 life always throw excuses in the mix that sound something like this:

Kids get sick, the job gets busy, your friends ask more of your time. You can't be D/s during these exchanges, that's real life, that's what gets in the way of living the lifestyle 24/7. No one can avoid it and no one can be in the role all the time.

I beg to differ. It's a matter of setting priorities.

For lifestyle submissives, submission isn't what they do, it's who they are. They can't change that any more than the color of their eyes or who their family is. It's a part of them. To tell them that they can't be who they are all the time is absurd in those situations. We all wear different hats; the parent hat, co-worker hat, concerned friend hat and so forth. These hats dress your core person. A lifestyle submissive isn't wearing a submissive hat.

This is the sort of person that generally argues against the '24/7 is not real' camp. For them, it's all they know. Their job, their relationships, their family all fall under this 24/7 life. They know how to manage the role in all of the situations that everyday life throws at them because they don't have to wear the hat. Natural submissives usually have an easier time at this, but I know many submissives that found submission late in life and have made submission who they are.

That isn't to say there are those who choose to wear a submissive hat. There are plenty of them, and for them, it can be true that 24/7 D/s just can't happen. That's because submission isn't in their core person. It's a hat they wear when they have time or are in the right moment. They can not have 24/7 D/s.  That doesn't make them any less of a submissive and I think that's the main argument between these two camps.

No one wants to feel that they are less than another. Submission is submission, but so many people have a drive to compare themselves; either to be better or to find fault in themselves. Neither of these ideas is healthy.  As I've said many times on this blog, your submission is unique and the reason there isn't a manual is that each path is different. You may pick another journey up the submissive mountain. The goal is the same and when you stand up on the peak, remember that there are so many further down the mountain having a similar struggle as yours.

If you take your lifestyle into 24/7, that is your reality. You focus your life around this and most can find it quite fulfilling to do. Accepting that not everyone can get there is a part of accepting your uniqueness.

Develop your reality to be worthwhile for your relationship and you may find that your side of the mountain is easier to scale and full of rewards.  The only real life is yours.