Does one know how to obtain collars that do not look like collars..so one can be worn at all time with out so called vanilla’s asking about it…?
When people think of collars, they usually picture something an animal would wear. Supple leather with a big buckle, or canvas with plastic clips, or thick steel held closed with a padlock. A choke chain, or a training collar that pokes when drawn tight. With spikes, or bells, or d-rings to attach a lead to. But the fact of the matter is, anything can be a collar.
I once had a friend who tied a pretty lavender ribbon around her neck, and that was her collar. Another friend of mine wears a simple chain with a lock pendant from Tiffany & Co. inscribed with her owner's name on the back. One of my friends wears a chain with a bell on it. One of the boys I used to know wore a gold chain with his owner's initials. Yet another had a necklace set with his owner that said something like "Yours always".
My first collar...
Master has a lady friend online from Israel who He's known longer than I've known He even existed. Before I met M, on a trip to visit her family (She lives in the states, now, but some of her family still lives in Israel.), she bought M a silver necklace with a hamsa pendant on it to bring Him luck. Even she, a woman He'd only ever conversed with on the internet, knew that if it weren't for bad luck, my owner would have no luck.
He almost never wore the necklace. Usually, He carried it in His pocket or swung it around His fingers. The latter when He was worried about something or trying to concentrate. We had to replace the chain shortly after I met Him because He wore it out. Then one day, His housemate's son and I talked Him into letting us hold it. I put it on my neck, and it became my collar when I asked Him to own me. I'm only without it when the chain breaks.
I also wear an Eternity Collar. It's a hinged steel circle that locks with an allen wrench and screw. Some people can't pull such a collar off as just a choker they wear, but I seem to do all right. I wear it everywhere. Even to work, when I have a job outside of the home, which is rare. It only comes off when we're flying, or for medical procedures.
People ask me about it from time to time, and I'm careful who I tell the truth. You have to be in this area. Some people will call the police. In New York, consent is not a defense, and the district attorney can bring charges without the "victim's" consent or cooperation if they feel the need. I'm not willing to risk M's freedom for my right to be open about who I am.
Browse around. Take a look at some of the sites Luna linked to in her post "Where to Buy Collars Online", and see if you can't find something suitable. Some even do custom work. Or head to your nearest jewelry store and pick out a necklace that means something to both of you.
But bottom line? What it doesn't have to be blatantly obvious to even the kink community. All that matters is that the two of you know what it symbolizes.