Expressing gratitude for your Dominant partner and what they do to enrich your life may seem simple. You can always say thank you. That's good manners. I really hope you take every opportunity to say thank you, but what if you want a few more creative ways to show how appreciative you are to your Dominant?
Being thankful can take on many forms; each time we feel that gratitude well up, we can use a different display of appreciation. For example, thanking your Dominant for giving you an orgasm will be treated differently than if you are grateful that they hold the power in your submissive life. Orgasm gratitude is usually expressed immediately after, and you may take a while to express your feelings for other things in time.
I'd like you to take a moment and think about some things you are grateful for in your life that you may not have had before you were in a relationship with your Dominant. A few journaling prompts to consider:
- How important is your partner to your development and your overall happiness?
- When was the last time you showed your appreciation for these things?
- Is it about time you did?
Starting a Gratitude Practice for Self-Reflection
When you take the time to think about what you have to be grateful for, it conditions your mind to be on the lookout for positive things in your life. If we focus on negativity, we miss the positives. If you note the positives, your mind continues to focus on finding the positives (the things we are grateful for).
It's not always easy to see the good things in life. Our mind is built to keep us alive for survival, so it scans for things that could endanger that - never the things that are going right. We have to focus on the good things in our lives consciously. We have to want to make note of those little wins.
A gratitude log doesn't have to be about the big things, although it can be. It could be that you got your favorite parking spot at the grocery store that day!
Keeping a gratitude journal will boost your happiness. I heard somewhere while I was researching this article that an experiment was performed where many people were asked to keep a gratitude journal and track their mood for the timeframe. Ultimately, over 80% of people reported a better mood simply because they focused on the positives of their life instead of the negatives. While I can't track down the specifics, that's a telling result just the same!
- Lessons in Submissive Speech 8: Showing Gratitude
- How to Start a Gratitude Practice and Change Your Life
- Gratitude Journals on Amazon.com
5 Ways to Show Your Gratitude to Your Dominant
Demonstrating your gratitude conveys care and value to your Dominant and enhances your connection with them, leading to increased personal happiness and life satisfaction. The ways you show appreciation can be simple or elaborate as long as they are yours. Make it honest and full of your service. Here's a guide on expressing your appreciation to your Dominant partner.
The first idea is to offer a service you don't normally do. It does not have to be sexual. Give a massage, bathe their feet, and sexual service that you only do when asked. Be a footstool, be their tax preparer, fetch and carry for the day. Anything that would just make their day and surprise them would fit the bill. Just remember to make it a part of yourself. Offering to pay for them to attend a salon is not the same thing as providing your service for a day of pampering.
Offer to help. If you know your partner may be dealing with a lot of stress, try to offer to take something off their plate. Try to help your partner by doing something they don’t enjoy doing, such as taking out the trash.
This idea isn't about making something but setting a mood. If you know your Dominant will come home from a stressful day, a change would be as simple as turning the lights down and lighting candles to help them relax and shed the outside world. Making sure the home is picked up and inviting can bring a lot of emotion. It shows that you care for the household possessions and how they make people feel when entering.
You can also create an atmosphere appropriate for whatever may be planned. If play is on the menu, then neatly prepare your play space. If dinner is the order of the day, setting the table as if you are in a fine restaurant can show your appreciation for several things.
Live for now. Try to avoid getting caught up in the what-if questions or phrases that use future tense. Take the time to focus your energy on you and your partner right now! What can you do together to focus on your relationship?
Take an idea from online for a ritual that you don't do. It could be kneeling and then lowering your face to the floor in submission or kneeling when you bring their drink. Adding that bit of focused attention is a pleasant surprise to a Dominant and shows them you care about how you present your submission. You can do several things in this vein, from how you disrobe to how you reply to requests in a set format. It's not just up to the Dominant to add ritual and intensity to the relationship. Volunteering these simple steps will tell them that you thank them for the opportunity to serve them.
Try each other’s interests. “Make a list of things that each partner enjoys doing in their free time,” says Farmer-Brackett, “After you make that list, try and invite your partner to participate in your interests with you.”
Honoring feelings. Every person is unique and has a special way of expressing themselves. Listen to your partner when they express excitement or disdain. Try to avoid dismissing feelings.
Sure, it's pretty easy to go to the store and purchase something for them, but when was the last time you made something for them? You don't have to learn anything or have specific skills. Make a special dinner or dessert, write a card or poem, or assemble a photo album or mosaic. Something homemade has more meaning than a purchased item.
Mail a card. Even if it’s sent to your own address, writing a meaningful message to your partner is a simple, intentional way to emphasize that you care.
Small gestures are the foundation for everyday life as a couple. If you’re thinking about your partner, try to do something that reflects it—like bringing home their favorite snack and binge-watching a favorite show together.
Ideally, rededication should only be done if you are ready to deepen your relationship or if there has been a lapse in the dynamic you wish to repair. The ritual this involves can vary from simple to elaborate, so let your mind develop what would work for you. Even just setting aside time to talk about how you wish to submit and offering that voluntarily expresses how you love the relationship and what they do for you. Again, you don't have to wait for the Dominant to tell you to create a ritual or process for doing something. I've gained so many rituals by starting it and having him say he likes it.
- Regaining Your Submissive Mindspace With Ritual
- How to Create a Morning Ritual to Streamline Your Day
- Book Review: The Ritual of Dominance & Submission: A Guide to High Protocol Dominance & Submission
If you need to work on your rules, start really digging in and doing them before you get in trouble. Don't let their distraction sway you. You want to serve; that's why you are in this relationship, so serve. Your submission might deepen their Dominance, and the rededication can you an exchange, just as it should be.
Lastly, remember to say thank you when you do these things. Make it about them. We take too much for granted anymore. Don't let your relationship become one of those things. Relationships build because we work at them, show how much you appreciate everything they do, and you will also reap the rewards.