Easy to read, easy to follow, and easy to understand, in this book the authors define and demystify the unique language of consensual sadomasochism, examine the psychological power of erotic dominance and submission, provide a carefully considered guide for safe SM play, and explain how SM can be an activity of intense intimacy and sophisticated erotic theater, as well as one of simple sexual pleasure. Combining their extensive professional credentials with deep personal experience, the result is an original introduction to a widely misunderstood realm of human sexuality.
Review
This month’s review is a reference book called Consensual Sadomasochism : How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely ( kindle edition) by William Henkin and Sybil Holiday. Written by two long term players in the BDSM scene; one is a psychotherapist, and the other a sexologist.
In my opinion, this is one of the best books for quick reference for beginning BDSM. Sure, there are many books on the subject, but this one does an excellent job speaking in a concise easy to understand way. It covers not only the basic safety concerns but who not to play with. Make sure you get the updated second edition as the first edition, written in 1996 is outdated. The second edition is getting out of date also, as it was written in 2003. Most of the online resources have relocated or no longer exist. Perhaps we’ll see a third edition soon.
A couple things I really appreciate about this book is the thorough table of contents and index. It makes it very easy to find the information you are looking for. I called it a short encyclopedia of BDSM since all the topics are easy to read summaries of a variety of topics. I also love the book list for further reading. I’ll definitely be going through that for more ideas for books to buy!
A negative aspect of this book is that it stays pretty clinical about things and doesn’t take a position one way or another on any issues. I think that since it’s written by people in the psychological field it makes sure to prevent offense by expressing any opinions that would be off the beaten path. If you are looking to form your own opinions about things, this book won’t help you one way or the other.
This book will be a solid basis for my recommendations for novices though for a long time to come.