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Latest from Ask SubGuide
Do you have tips to navigate play for subs who have depression/low self-esteem?
We know submission can be powerful, affirming, and deeply validating—but when you’re carrying the weight of depression or low self-worth, that same vulnerability can feel overwhelming. You’re not alone in this. If you’re not seeing a professional to help improve your mental health, you can find a list of kink-aware...
Read More >>Any ideas for Anticipatory Service (I’d like to do more without their asking me)?
Question: I want to do more for my Dom in terms of serving without him asking me. Do you have any ideas? Answer: That’s a wonderful instinct, and it speaks volumes about your desire to deepen your submission and connection. Serving without being asked is often called anticipatory service—and it’s...
Read More >>Am I obligated to answer questions about what humiliates me if it embarrasses me?
Question: Last week, in the introductory phase, I had a Domme ask me what humiliates me. I hesitated to tell her because it also embarrassed me. Hope that makes sense. I ended up telling her, but it was very uncomfortable. What are your thoughts on this question, and am...
Read More >>What are your favorite BDSM-related podcasts?
With so many great BDSM-related podcasts out there, it’s easier than ever to learn, grow, and feel connected to the community. Whether you’re looking for educational deep dives, personal stories, or just good conversations about kink, there’s something for everyone. Here are a few of the podcasts I’m currently listening...
Read More >>How Can I Stay Submissive While Running the Home?
Question: My husband and I are in a D/s relationship. However, I’m the one who runs the house, takes care of the kids, and is always the one “in charge.” How can he and I maintain our dynamic? How do I stay in touch with my submissive side? Answer: Being...
Read More >>Any tips for D/s dynamic with kids at home?
It is really easy to understand managing vanilla relationships around others (including kids living at home). It boils down to understanding one crucial concept: discretion. Discretion: the quality of behaving or speaking in a way to avoid causing offence or (IMPORTANTLY) revealing confidential information. We can mostly agree that kissing...
Read More >>How do you know if I’ll enjoy submission if I’ve only been exposed through erotic novels?
Question: I’ve been a voracious reader of BDSM and D/S erotic novels for years and am not sure if I enjoy it just as entertainment or because I feel like something might be missing from my life. How do you know if you are a submissive, and if you think...
Read More >>Is it ever okay to say no to your Dominant?
Question: Is there ever a time when it’s ok to tell your Dominant no when he tells you to do something? Answer: Absolutely. While submission involves obedience and trust, it doesn’t mean blind compliance. There are several situations where saying “no” is not only acceptable but necessary: A healthy D/s...
Read More >>What kinds of punishments and rewards would you implement into a personal protocol as a single submissive?
Full Question: During my research on Submissive Guide, I’ve learned about personal protocol. I don’t have a dom currently and am looking to understand more about punishments and rewards for personal protocol. What kinds of punishments and rewards do you implement into your personal protocol, or would you recommend for...
Read More >>Should the non-kinky person make an effort to accommodate the kinky person’s needs and wants even if they are not interested?
Short answer: no. And the kinky person shouldn’t expect you to. In any healthy relationship, whether kinky or not, communication, respect, and mutual understanding are key. If one partner has specific needs or desires, the other person needs to be open to listening and discussing them, even if they don’t...
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