Ask Submissive Guide Anything

This is a specific question that is important to answer in a broader context. “How can I find new creative ways to further explore (insert desired kink)?” It is common in online communities to crowdsource ideas for play. It is often met with the same response: “We can’t tell you...

Choosing a collar is one of the most meaningful decisions a D/s couple can make. Much like an engagement or wedding ring, a collar represents commitment, devotion, and the unique bond between Dominant and submissive. That’s why the “perfect” collar isn’t about what looks best in a shop window—it’s about...

Question: I am a house husband. My dom wife wants to be left alone after a long day at work to unwind, but I am so anxious to see her that she complains I am too needy. How can I, as a house husband, treat her better to show my...

Being outspoken or opinionated doesn’t make you a bad submissive. This article explores why personality traits aren’t inherently Dominant or submissive—and how honesty, communication, and self-awareness help you attract the right dynamic for your authentic self. Embrace who you are and find the partner who values it.

Question: How do you bring up wanting to escalate your relationship with your current play partner into a full dynamic? We have both expressed interest, but no concrete discussion has taken place. Answer: This is such a great question, because many of us find ourselves here at some point. Play...

Question: Why is it called serving a Dominant? I don’t like that kind of phrasing and insinuation that I am somehow below the Dominant. Answer: It’s completely understandable that the word “serve” can rub you the wrong way. In everyday life, “service” often gets tangled up with ideas of being...

The original question comes from a male Dominant/female submissive context, and the response reflects that framing. That said, the topic is relevant to D/s dynamics of all kinds, regardless of gender. “Fair” is such a complicated concept. “Fair” seems like a measurable emotion, like something to feel- a pea underneath...

How long should you chat with a Dom online before meeting? A week is a fair start, but don’t stay stuck in endless texting. Learn when it’s time to suggest a coffee date, what their response can reveal, and how to spot if they’re serious—or just stringing you along.

Question: How would you express changes in your feelings over poly to your Master, when the second sub he is considering you do not like her, without losing your relationship with him? Answer: When we’re in a power exchange relationship, especially a poly one, expressing hard feelings can feel like...

This may be easier than you think, dear s-type!  It is important to remember that finding the right Dominant or Top through dating or shopping around can sometimes feel challenging. I liken the vanilla dating pool to a bowl of cereal. Lots of individual options floating around. Now take a...