Full Question: If you’re relatively new to all of this and are building a dynamic with a new dom, what is your thought on randomly and only occasionally calling the safe word for the purpose of building the trust that they will, in fact, stop? Answer: It’s not uncommon for submissives to want to test […]
Using Your Safeword to Test Their Trust? Read More »
When it comes to books, as well as bondage, I’m more of a leather-bound girl, myself. So, when my Master decided to start practicing rope bondage, I used this background as my comparison. After a few months of “bonding” over rope bondage, though, I’m pretty convinced it’s a whole different animal. Perhaps there is something
The Time Between Knots: Changing Our Perspectives on Rope Bondage Read More »
Communication is not the sexiest word a submissive can utter, but it’s one of the most necessary. An issue I hear brought up quite commonly is that it just doesn’t “feel submissive” to be talking about needs with a dominant. Still, there comes a time in every relationship when it feels like the relationship is
6 Qualities of Mindful Submission When Communicating With Our Partners Read More »
The other day in a submissive’s group I’m in on Facebook, a member made a post about something her dominant wanted her to do, yet she was absolutely 100% against doing and was looking for help on how to get past her unwillingness. There were several comments and there was one in particular that caught
Submission Isn’t Easy-Nor for Your Convenience Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Venturing into the realms of Altered Mental States should be done carefully. The human mind is vulnerable to suggestion (as witnessed by the recent ‘cult’ suicides in LA). People often have an enormous
Altered Mental States in BDSM Read More »
This is a guest post by  Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls, which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Sometimes it seems that people want and need the security they feel by putting rules in writing. Contracts, restrictions, regulations. Each of these is a way of limiting the free expression of ourselves
Beyond Limits: The Illusion of Safety Read More »
When you become submissive to someone, you could be afraid to lose who you were before the power exchange. I know I was afraid of changing too much when I began to identify as a slave instead of a submissive. Would I even recognize myself? Could I still be opinionated and silly, obsessed with Pentatonix
Afraid of Not Being Me Anymore: Transformation Without Fear Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Subspace – This term generally is used to describe a moderate to deep trancelike condition experienced by persons in the submissive position in a D/s relationship during interaction with the person in the
Defining Sub Space Read More »
This is a guest post by  Xiao Yingtai. Doms keep telling us that they’re not mind-readers, so we have to communicate. But it’s hard! Especially when it’s something they might not want to hear. The good news is that there is always a submissive way to say it. And you never have to compromise the message. Here is
Communicating While Submissive Read More »
I see it all the time on discussion boards and we talk about it at social gatherings. I’ve even thought it a time or two. D/s relationships are better than vanilla ones. We see them as deeper, more intimate, better at communication and meeting the individual’s needs as well as the couple’s. For those of
Are D/s Relationships Better than Vanilla Ones? Read More »
Weeding through the number of messages in your inbox asking to get to know you better is a daunting task to most single people, and being submissive looking for a Dominant is no different. Well, perhaps it’s a little different. The compatibility that you are looking for as a submissive is more specific and challenging.
Are There Basic Expectations in a Dominant That I Should Look For? Read More »
I’ve been in relationships before. I know how they should work, or at least I think I do. Sometimes I wonder if everyone has forgotten how things are supposed to work just because they are in a D/s relationship instead of a vanilla one. Many of the questions on social networking for kinky people stems
4 Things You Should Not Put Up With Just Because They Are a Dominant Read More »
Read the entire series – go back to the Introduction of the 30 Days of Submission! Has your submission increased or decreased over time? Have you ever had to renegotiate your submission due to a change in your feelings or circumstance? Honestly, I can’t say if my submission has increased or decreased over time because
30 Days of Submission: Day 20 – Fluctuating Submission Read More »
Read the entire series – go back to the Introduction of the 30 Days of Submission! What does trust mean to you in the context of submission? Trust means that my openness and honesty does not get dismissed out of hand. It means that what I say and feel has importance to my Dominant and
30 Days of Submission: Day 17 – What Does Trust Mean? Read More »
This is the third in an ongoing series where I will be writing about key factors it takes to have a successful relationship. This third article is about the importance of trust and the role it plays in our relationships. Check out the previous articles – It’s All About Communication and Honesty is the Best Policy. I am
Keys to a Successful Relationship: Trust is Like a Mirror… Read More »
This is an ongoing series where I will be writing about key factors it takes to have a successful relationship. This second article is about the importance that honesty plays in our relationships. The first one is It’s All About Communication I remember growing up, I always heard from the adults around me that honesty was
Keys to a Successful Relationship – Honesty is Really the Best Policy Read More »
This is the first in an ongoing series where I will be writing about key factors it takes to have a successful relationship. This first article is about the importance that communication plays in our relationships. Awhile ago, I came across this article in the NY Times about how BDSM has become a bit more mainstream thanks
Keys to a Successful Relationship-It’s All About Communication Read More »
Like anyone else who’s walking the submissive path, I struggle from time to time. Maybe more times than I really care to admit. There are times where Daddy asks things of me, that I don’t quite want to do or I feel like I don’t have a submissive bone in my body and that makes
Coming to an Understanding – I am a Slave Read More »
Trust is a big factor in all relationships. I would even go as far to say that trust is an even bigger factor in D/s and M/s relationships than most others, but I could be wrong. How do you know when you really trust someone? I know a lot of people out there say they
Just How Much Trust Do YOU Have? Read More »
Of all the subjects to write about on submission, this seems the most vanilla to me, probably because it didn’t use to be unusual for one partner in a partnership to maintain the bank accounts all that long ago. For some vanilla couples, it still isn’t. Personally, I am not a very organized person and
Letting Go of the Bank Account – Submitting to Financial Control Read More »
