self-discovery

3 Ways You Can Learn About Your Limits When You Are New to BDSM

This entry is part 10 of 19 in the series New to BDSM? Start Here

I know how you feel right now. You’ve discovered this thing called BDSM in some fashion or another and it pulls you in to get it a try. But as you search through countless websites, Amazon BDSM book lists and the sheer number of opinions on BDSM you realize this barrage of information is going […]

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31 Days of Submissive Journaling: Day 27- Brain Dump: Shaking Off Toxic Emotions

This entry is part 27 of 31 in the series 31 Days of Submissive Journaling

One of the main ways I’ve used my personal blog for years is as a brain dump. A brain dump is a method of releasing all the clutter that’s in your head at the time. Whether that be a rant or a moment of stress or a way to sort out intense emotions. Submissive Journaling

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31 Days of Submissive Journaling: Day 23 – Journal Prompts: Using Them Effectively to Improve Your Life

This entry is part 23 of 31 in the series 31 Days of Submissive Journaling

When you don’t know what you want to write about in your submissive journal but have an obligation to write something, one of the best tool is journaling prompts. Since the beginning of Submissive Guide I have curated a long, long list of introspective questions, thoughts, and quotes to help you develop as a person

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31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 6: Why New Submissives Should Write a Submissive Journal

This entry is part 6 of 31 in the series 31 Days of Submissive Journaling

In the first few posts about submissive journals you’ve read about the kind of tool a journal is in a relationship, whether that be a new one or a long-standing one, as well as how Dominants use your journal as a tool for communication and relationship building but what about when you are single, or

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31 Days of Submissive Journaling – Day 3: What is a Submissive Journal?

This entry is part 3 of 31 in the series 31 Days of Submissive Journaling

When you are trying to understand something related to submission, BDSM or your relationship, a submissive journal is a great place to get it all sorted out. While it may not actually solve your problem or answer your question, the simple use of the journal is one of the best tools in your submissive arsenal.

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Getting Over Your Fears to Talk About Your Newfound Kinky Desires

This entry is part 11 of 11 in the series Introducing BDSM to Your Partner

A friend of mine called me up the other day to talk. She wanted to know how to talk to her partner about some new kink desires that she had. See she’s what I have always considered kink-lite compared to the way KnyghtMare and I live so while she’s easy to get along with we

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Submissive Mythology: The Good Submissive

This entry is part 7 of 11 in the series The Submissive Resume

This is a guest post by  Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Good – better – best – favorable – bountiful – fertile – handsome – attractive – suitable – fit – profitable – advantageous – pleasant – agreeable – salutary – wholesome – amusing

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Everything That’s Wrong with Your BDSM Limits List – And How To Fix It

Limits are those boundaries that we set for ourselves because of physical, emotional, mental, social or psychological hesitations, morals or values we want to uphold and dislike for some things. For most submissives, we put together a rudimentary limits list as soon as we know what BDSM is and how scary some of the things

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Answered: Your Burning Questions About What Is Expected Of You As a Submissive

This entry is part 5 of 30 in the series Novice Submissives Start Here

As a novice submissive it can be an exciting endeavor to enter into a relationship right away before you know anything about BDSM or D/s, or even being introduced to the dynamic from someone you met online or face to face. People do it every day. It is also one filled with questions and uncertainty

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Why Identifying Your Wants and Needs is So Important as a Novice Submissive

This entry is part 2 of 10 in the series Submissive Wants and Needs

Wants and needs. As novice submissives, we hear this phrase over and over. Make sure you know your wants and needs. Does this person or that person fulfill your wants and needs? How should we talk about our wants and needs with someone? First, let’s define them. Need: Something that is not negotiable for a

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30 Days of Submission: Day 23 – Questioning my Submission

This entry is part 24 of 31 in the series 30 Days of Submission

Read the entire series – go back to the Introduction of the 30 Days of Submission! Is there anything about submission (yours or what you see in others) that you question, dislike or repels you? Was there a time you questioned or were resistant to your own submissive feelings? Wow. I spent a good long

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Single In the Scene Part VIII: Transformation Happens

This entry is part 8 of 8 in the series Single in the Scene

There’s going to come to a point, I pray, that the single slave will be not so single and will be heading towards being owned. So for the last message in this series, I thought I’d talk about releasing the fear of transformation. There’s a song from the late 80’s “Don’t Make Me Over” by

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30 Days of Submission Challenge: Day 1 – Labeling My Submission

This entry is part 2 of 31 in the series 30 Days of Submission

As I shared with you last week I am doing Nanowrimo this month so I’m focusing my writing there. While I’m away I have prepared an interesting series for Submissive Guide. This is the first of 30 days where you all get to learn a little bit (or a lot) about me. I’m going to

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Single In The Scene Part VI: Vulnerability

This entry is part 6 of 8 in the series Single in the Scene

I’m of the opinion that there are many slaves who are unowned for one reason: fear of being vulnerable. The way relationships tend to flow in the vanilla world vulnerability isn’t a necessity to maintain the relationship. Usually most are not surrendering to their partners and both tend to rest assured that they are equals

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Single in the Scene Part III: The Slave Resume

This entry is part 3 of 8 in the series Single in the Scene

This series is written from the perspective that being single in the Lifestyle affords one the opportunity to do some soul-searching, learning, and defining in order to be better equipped to transition into a suitable and desirable relationship in due time. Read – Part I: Boundaries and Part II: Service. Yeeees – there is a such thing as

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BDSM and Submission: The Five Precepts of Service

This entry is part 9 of 20 in the series Service Submission

This is a guest post by Shahjahani. She is a personal friend of mine and a fantastic educator. I originally heard of these precepts when speaking of death and dying.  I elaborated on them then to help myself understand my place in the death and dying process. I shared my thoughts back then with those that

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Recovering From the End of a D/s Relationship

This entry is part 6 of 10 in the series Relationship Breakup

Asking for release from a relationship is never an easy thing to do regardless of the reasons and how it is done. It is not something one does lightly and shouldn’t be something someone does without thought and consideration to all the factors involved. It is something that I have recently had to do –

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It’s Not Over Until The Fat Lady Sings AKA The Ending Of A D/s Relationship

This entry is part 8 of 10 in the series Relationship Breakup

As always the views in this article are mine and mine alone unless otherwise stated. I write about what I know and what I know is me and my journey.   As the old saying goes it’s not over until the fat lady sings.  In this instance the fat lady would be me, a few

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