Finding community in BDSM can be life-changing—but not every space is safe. This guide walks you through how to vet BDSM groups and leadership, identify red flags, and protect yourself while building the kind of kink community where everyone can thrive.
Vetting BDSM Communities: How to Stay Safe and Spot Red Flags Read More »
During Cyber Monday sales, I decided to treat myself to a couple of new books. I bought The Trainer and The Academy, both by Laura Antoniou, books three and four in The Marketplace series. I have been a huge fan of this series for several years now and just recently reintroduced myself to it. I own the first two
That Don’t Impress Me Much: Why You Should Not Withhold Your Safeword Read More »
Dear Submissive Guide, In May I met a wonderful Dom online. We talked on the phone every night and I was over the moon for him. He was the first to say I love you and my self-protect wall started to melt. In my dating profile, I was explicit about not wanting to relocate because
Help! My Dominant Says and Does Things I Didn’t Agree To Read More »
Dear Annie, I am in a dom/sub relationship long distance, One that has become very stressful for me. I am punished it seems like every day to stay in favor and because of the distance, it is monetary payment. It is breaking me down financially and mentally, it seems I get nothing from this relationship.
I’m Afraid of My Long-Distance Dom Read More »
I have met someone online and he has asked me to be his submissive. After much talk etc… I agreed he then asked for money as a gift to show commitment to him and to show I was serious about this ? This has made me wary I have done everything else he has asked
What To Do When He Wants Me to Send Him Money as a Sign of Commitment Read More »
Online submission was and still is a very popular choice for many people, especially the novice submissive and the curious outsider. But it also attracts the not so honest people, the predators and those looking for the weak and vulnerable for their own selfish needs. And that’s why, if you wish to be an online
How to Tell When That Online Training Dom is a Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing Read More »
Hello lunaKM , I have recently met a very dominant man. I have always been a bit submissive and love the idea of worshipping a man fully. The first night we were together I got pregnant I am keeping the baby and he is thrilled. But he tells me I need to research in order
Scared of My Dom – Are Dominants Supposed to Act This Way? Read More »
Consent and power exchange are not the same as abuse. This article explores how to recognize abuse in a BDSM relationship by examining warning signs, manipulation, coercion, and consent violations, helping readers distinguish healthy power exchange from harmful behavior while prioritizing safety, autonomy, and informed decision-making.
When Play is No Longer Play: Recognizing Abuse in a BDSM Relationship Read More »
Confidence and authority alone do not make someone a good Dominant. This article explores the differences between ethical dominance and controlling behavior, helping readers recognize healthy leadership, understand the role of consent, and evaluate whether a D/s relationship is built on trust, respect, and mutual agreement.
How to Tell If You Are With a Dominant or Just a Bossy Dick Read More »
Yes, I had been in this lifestyle with the same Master going on six years now. I had just find out where he works, phone number etc. But I have not met anyone in his family or his friends. I am kept a secret and he is separated from his wife. He said to me
I’m a Secret From My Dominant’s Wife(Separated) and I Don’t Like It Read More »
This is a guest post by Miss Jessica. Everyone’s safety is extremely important of course, but in the BDSM community it is the people who give themselves up the most that have a greater chance of being hurt; submissives, slaves, and all others who fit into categories that fall under the umbrella term ‘bottom’. The degree
More Red Flags for Everyone – Personal Safety and Warnings Read More »
This essay that I wrote was first published on humbledfemales.net but has since taken on new ownership and the article was removed (not sure why). I am now sharing it here because it is good common sense! A submissive’s best protection is her gut instinct. Waking up the fantasies we’ve only held close to our hearts and
Recapturing Common Sense Read More »
Being in the BDSM community for any length of time you are likely to come across the common sermons of SSC, Safe Calls, and First Meeting Safety. When you are a novice in BDSM I’d encourage you to listen to these sermons and listen hard; they could protect you as you venture out into the
Why Safety is Preached to Novices and Why It’s Important to Know Anyway Read More »
u that you deserve punishment for a wide variety of real and imagined offenses. They do not use appropriate levels of discipline, so the punishment does not fit the crime. It is never part of a consensual power exchange, and offenses are not forgiven after the discipline. There is a constant reminder of your ‘failure’.
Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of a Predator Dom/me Part 2 Read More »
Part 1: Information Please! If you’re a new submissive this lifestyle may seem overwhelming at first. A submissive I know terms it ‘the new submissive smell’. Dom/mes sense ‘new blood’, and swarm like piranhas to interact with, play with or train the new submissive in the group. Dom/mes may contact you online or meet you
Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 1 Read More »
