There’s a moment in every submissive’s journey when we come face-to-face with the word “no.” Often, we expect our boundaries to be bold, sweeping declarations of hard limits that protect us from truly intense or painful experiences. But what about the small boundaries—the subtle “no” we whisper to ourselves about something others might find trivial […]
Lessons from My First No: Embracing Limits, Big and Small Read More »
Yes—absolutely, 100%, without a doubt—you need boundaries. With your Dominant. With your friends. With everyone you have a relationship with. A common misconception in BDSM is that safewords replace the need for boundaries. But the truth is, boundaries and safewords serve very different purposes, and both are necessary. Boundaries are personal. They’re your internal compass—what
Should you have boundaries with your Dominant, besides safe words? Read More »
I know how you feel right now. You’ve discovered this thing called BDSM in some fashion or another and it pulls you in to get it a try. But as you search through countless websites, Amazon BDSM book lists and the sheer number of opinions on BDSM you realize this barrage of information is going
3 Ways You Can Learn About Your Limits When You Are New to BDSM Read More »
This is a guest post by  Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls, which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Sometimes it seems that people want and need the security they feel by putting rules in writing. Contracts, restrictions, regulations. Each of these is a way of limiting the free expression of ourselves
Beyond Limits: The Illusion of Safety Read More »
Dear lunaKM, I am a sub that is very new to the BDSM scene. I know a little bit, but I’m quite unfamiliar with a lot. Recently, I met someone online that immediately recognized me as a sub, and I would love to impress him. He asked me what my limits are, and what I’m
What are my limits? Read More »
This is a guest post by MermaidHooked. The scene is built upon personal limitations and the ability to be self-aware in the midst of dangerous situations we willingly put ourselves in for the goal of receiving and giving pleasure. Finding and voicing limits can often be the most daunting part of the BDSM lifestyle. It can
A Personal Story About Discovering and Testing Limits Read More »
I talk a lot about knowing your limits and talking about your limits with your Dominant but I believe this is the first time I’m going to talk about your partner’s limits and what they mean for you. As a refresher, limits are the personal boundaries that we place on ourselves pertaining to our life
The Real Truth About a Dominant’s Limits Read More »
We are surrounded by boundaries and fences, limits, and “do no pass” signs. Everything we do has limitations and restrictions. So, it may come as no surprise that you, too, have limits you will not cross, whether in your relationship or for sex and play. Some limits are temporary, while others are permanent. Others exist
What Everyone Ought to Know About Finding and Managing Limits Read More »
Imagine this; you are playing and happily enjoying what is going on between the two of you. As the scene continues you start to feel pushed to your limit, but you continue to play. Then, almost without warning, you hit a wall and (hopefully) safeword. You’ve just hit a limit. It could be a temporary
What To Do When You Encounter Limits Mid Scene Read More »
The other day and I can’t recall the reason, but I was thinking about something that happened during a play party I had once attended. I had just gotten my butt whacked and in my happy space. I had my blanket and plate full of snacks(after scene munchies), and was wearing my brand new flannel
Is it Really a Bad Thing to be a Selfish Submissive? Read More »
“What are your limits?” “Scat, blood, the dead and kids.” “You must be new.” “Huh?” “Only the novices have so few limits.” This is a real conversation. It happens all over the net and in munch groups. Sure there are no-limits slaves out there, but that’s just not as common as the rest of us. We come
Limits: Drawing That Line In The Sand Read More »
I love surfing the submissive blogs to see what other people are talking about. Many times it gives me something to talk about here on this site. This post is one such example. Over on Underhishand.com, kaya asked about submission and what qualifies it as submission. She asked, “if you are not expected to do
Is It Submission If You Like What You’re Doing? Read More »
