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fantasy vs reality

When Fantasy Collides with Reality: Weighing Expectations when Exploring Kink Fantasies

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Long ago the first imagery appeared. In most cases we cannot pinpoint the moment or recognize it’s import in our life. When I was a child I went to the library every Tuesday […]

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Cyber Realities: Online and Long Distance Relationship Thoughts

This is a guest post by  Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. In many ways this seems like a contradiction in terms. However, it cannot be overlooked that the advent of the Internet has opened the access into the BDSM community in ways completely incomprehensible

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Male Submission – Selfishness

This entry is part 2 of 10 in the series For Male Submissives

The title of this article may seem self-contradictory but submission means different things to different people and also almost all human beings are selfish to at least some degree at some point in our lives. Many submissives gain pleasure directly from the pleasure of their dominant and they are clearly not the target of this

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Male Submission – Fantasy vs Reality

This entry is part 4 of 10 in the series For Male Submissives

In part 1 of my series of articles on male submission I wrote about one archetype of male submission “The Worm.”  For clarification, a large majority of male submissives do not fit that mindset as there are plenty of other dynamics. However, one topic which is common to many male submissives is that the fantasy of

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Male Submission – The Worm

This entry is part 5 of 10 in the series For Male Submissives

As the first in a series of articles focusing on male submission, this article presents thoughts about one of the archetypes of male submission, the “worm.” Men and women are different, of course, and in some cases that goes beyond the obvious physical characteristics. Almost all of the articles on The Submissive Guide are valid

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Separating Fantasy from Reality – Using Erotic Novels to Find Truth

On the heels of “50 Shades of Grey” fame, there are a lot of new and curious people exploring BDSM than there has been in a long time. For the many people who encounter this site through a search, they may have their fantasies dashed by reading about the internal work and powerful submissives that

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Real Life vs. Online, the Battle for Understanding Both Styles of Relationships

“What one has not experienced, one will never understand in print.” -Isadora Duncan I began my journey into D/s and BDSM in online chat rooms; namely those on IRC (BDSM-Net and Bondage.com). I knew nothing of what the lifestyle would be for me, only the fantasy that I lived when I got home from class

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