Through the previous articles in this series, you’ll have learned how to build your personal values and how to let go of your past, including your past mistakes. Learning from failure is a skill that, while difficult, can have longstanding benefits. Many submissives, myself included, get stuck on failure, wear them around our neck with […]
Solo-Coaching: Learning From Failure – It’s A Good Thing Read More »
It’s the most wonderful time of the year, well, at least that’s what the song says. For many out there, the holidays aren’t the most wonderful time of the year. With November being more than half over, the holidays are in full swing. For many, this is an extremely stressful and depressing time of the
7 Tips for Handling Holiday Stress Read More »
We’ve all probably uttered this phrase a time or two when having a heated conversation with a loved one, “you’re becoming defensive.” From the time we are born, we learn defensive mechanisms that are meant to protect us from pain and trauma. A child’s first defense is to cry, and they tend to cry a
Solo-Coaching – Tearing Down Old Defensive Behaviors Read More »
Hello, I have a question. I’m having a hard time getting past just being angry when my Dom punishes me. Specifically corporal punishment. I understand what I do wrong but it is so hard to just lay there and take it as they say. I don’t want to start a conflict with Sir, I just
How To Get Over Being Angry When Punished Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Affectionate care and attention following any type of traumatic or mentally challenging event. D/s relationships are engaged with a passion and intensity that are often so strong that they can strip away at
What is Aftercare? Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Relationships end. Sometimes through the willful choice of both partners, other times one may ask for or be released. In either case the ending of a relationship is painful. In my opinion many
Coping with Release: The End of the D/s Relationship Read More »
In every single article I write, I stress the importance of communication, so you would think that I practice as I preach and work really hard to include communication in my relationship. And truth is, I do try, but I have realized that open and honest communication with a partner can only happen when I
Opening Communication with Myself Read More »
The things that test us aren’t always outside forces. Sure, our friends, family, and partners will test us from time to time – whether they mean to or not. In my experience, though, the things that test us the most come from within… Whenever I introduce myself to the kink community, I refer to myself
Submission is a Choice That Will be Tested Read More »
Sub drop is the feeling of hopelessness and depression that can follow the extreme rush of endorphins during intense play or sex if the sub is not cared for appropriately afterward. Care varies from person to person – some of us need to be held and cuddled and praised and iced or hot packed accordingly,
Sub Drop From Afar: Managing Sub Drop in a Long Distance Relationship Read More »
I love the movie Frozen. I love it so much, I can’t quite stress how much I love it. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I have watched this movie, but I can tell you it has been enough that Daddy can tune it out when I’m watching it for the
Learn to Let Go of the Past: Releasing Baggage from Past Relationships Read More »
Whether it be for a job or a family crisis, military service or a holiday there might be a time in your submission where your partner must be away from you for a time and might not be able to communicate as often as you’d like. How do you prepare for the loneliness, loss, and
Preparing for Time When Your Dominant is Away Read More »
In the immortal words of Whitesnake: “And I know what it means/To walk along the lonely street of dreams/And here I go again on my own.” I’ve been released from my Dominant. This was my first D/s relationship, so I don’t have any experience to compare this to. It’s not like a Vanilla break-up. No, not
The Importance of Keeping It All Together After Being Released From a Collar Read More »
Just how does one know how to move on after a relationship has come to an end, regardless of the reasons behind it? That is sometimes a confusing question for submissives to answer for themselves. Often a submissive will feel lost and all alone, as if they feel that no one will understand what they
How to Move On When The D/s Relationship Ends Read More »
Jealousy. At one time or another we all have felt it. Handling jealousy when it comes to our partners is a trait we all should have, but many don’t. We get spiteful, possessive and plain horrible when we feel jealousy rear it’s green pointy head. Some people are more prone to feelings of jealousy than
Tearing Down the Green-Eyed Monster – Handling Jealousy Read More »
Submission definitely isn’t easy. No matter what direction your journey takes you will have moments where struggle and strife challenge you to continue your submission. I’m a bit hesitant to say that it’s common to struggle as a submissive, but I do know that a lot of what I consider struggle is actually self-created. That’s
The Internal and External Struggles of a Submissive Read More »
Not too long ago, my pup and I were faced with something that rears its ugly head to everyone-lifestyle or not. The dreaded “outside force.” What is this intruder you may ask? Well, it is anything outside of the relationship that causes undue tension within a pairing; it is never welcome and always has to be handled
How To Overcome The Outside Forces That Stress Us Read More »
My family found out that I’m into BDSM/submissive and they are freaking out, what do I do? Coming out to your family, whether it be homosexuality or being kinky is a nerve-wrecking situation for anyone. Not being able to control when and where you family finds out this information would feel like a disaster but
How You Can Respond When Your Family Disapproves of Your Chosen Lifestyle/Sexuality Read More »
Open communication is complicated by shyness. Addressing that shyness could help you open up to your partner and others instead of the social discomfort you constantly feel. But what is shyness and how does it manifest? You can get over being shy and start living your life free from social awkwardness. Then your submissive communication
The Secret of Communicating When You Are Shy Read More »
Rarely have I heard of an end of a relationship being good, civil yes, but good? Yet I have heard on numerous occasions that relationship ends can be bad and others very bad. What makes some of these horrible is the immaturity of the people involved and what that causes them to do. I have
What To Do In a Bad Break-up Situation Read More »
The reality of long-distance relationships, or any non-live-in relationship, is that you will have to handle periods of absence. It’s a painful and bitter reminder that you are not together and that your desires for each other have to go unquenched. But that doesn’t mean you can’t get through them with a few coping techniques.
Handling Absence in a Long-Distance Relationship Read More »
