Full Question: What are some sexy ways to ask if the other person is okay? Answer: Since this question can go in many directions, I’m interpreting this question to be looking for ways to confirm continued consent during sex or play. Consent is sexy. Wanting to ensure your partner is still okay with what is […]
What are some sexy ways to ask if the other person is okay? Read More »
Dear Submissive Guide, In May I met a wonderful Dom online. We talked on the phone every night and I was over the moon for him. He was the first to say I love you and my self-protect wall started to melt. In my dating profile, I was explicit about not wanting to relocate because
Help! My Dominant Says and Does Things I Didn’t Agree To Read More »
This is a guest post by  Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls, which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Sometimes it seems that people want and need the security they feel by putting rules in writing. Contracts, restrictions, regulations. Each of these is a way of limiting the free expression of ourselves
Beyond Limits: The Illusion of Safety Read More »
There are things we don’t want to happen but have to accept, things we don’t want to know but have to learn, and people we can’t live without but have to let go. -Author Unknown Very dear to my heart is a less-than-sexy but necessary dialogue that revolves around maintaining a healthy Power Exchange dynamic.
The Checks and Balances in Power Exchange Read More »
There seems to be this very misguided idea that it is entirely acceptable for the dominant partner in a relationship to participate in aggressive play when they are angry, so long as it is referred to as a scene or as being kinky. I am going to tell you, on no uncertain terms that if your
When Play is No Longer Play: Recognizing Abuse in a BDSM Relationship Read More »
The other night KnyghtMare and I went to a play party. We were having a nice time sitting and watching and socializing in the sunken seating area surrounded by raised booths. KnyghtMare was playfully swatting my breasts from time to time and at one point I raised my arms up out of the way to
Don’t Touch Other People’s Property: The Golden Rule at BDSM Functions Read More »
It’s happened to the best of us. You and your partner got a little frisky the other day and now you have a few bruises that haven’t faded yet. Your Doctor’s appointment is this afternoon, what do you do? First of all, don’t panic. Then, don’t cancel your appointment until you have read this post.
Going to the Doctor with Kink-Related Marks or Bruises Read More »
I said before I’m a “no limits” slave. Bring on the barrage of “What if your master wanted to cut your arm off?” type questions. There are few scenarios related to what most would consider safe and sane kink that I will attempt to avoid, but when it comes right down to it, if The
No Limits Slavery: What Are Ya Gonna Do When He Wants to Chop Your Finger Off? Read More »
Topping from the bottom has been given a bad wrap. It’s considered by many to be a faux pax for any submissive. Online communities shun and shame many people who even ask about the subject and want to know if what they did was considered wrong. Too many people tell these people that yes it
When Is It Okay to Top From the Bottom? Read More »
When you get married, you have to legally sign a document attesting to your decision to be married. The legal document can come in many forms but most have a brief section about what each party declares for the union, how they will treat each other and how commitment will be displayed (change of names
What You Need To Know About Using Contracts to Negotiate a Relationship Read More »
I love surfing the submissive blogs to see what other people are talking about. Many times it gives me something to talk about here on this site. This post is one such example. Over on Underhishand.com, kaya asked about submission and what qualifies it as submission. She asked, “if you are not expected to do
Is It Submission If You Like What You’re Doing? Read More »
UPDATE: I have written further on this topic. Please check out Why You Should Know the Truth About Topping from the Bottom and Feeding His Dominance is Not Topping from Below. Topping from the bottom is a misunderstood term in BDSM, especially if you are a novice. The idea behind the term is to help submissives understand their
5 Ways to Recognize Topping from the Bottom Read More »
