Full Question: How does one discern if a Dom is abusive? Answer: Dominants and submissives can be abusive to their partners. We’re going to focus on Dominants for this question, but if you are Dominant or in an egalitarian relationship, the following questions can help you discern abuse also. The core of BDSM is consent, […]
How does one discern if a Dom is abusive? Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Emotion ~ A physiological departure from maintenance of a relatively stable internal environment. This environment is sustained through a series of interacting physiological processes such as drives, motivations and other psychodynamic forces. Emotion
What is (Emotional) Abuse in a BDSM Relationship? Read More »
This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. If a human being at some point in their childhood becomes the focus of physical and/or sexual abuse does this then turn them into a submissive at some later point in their lives?
Submissive Myths: Submission is a Result of Childhood Abuse Read More »
Consent and power exchange are not the same as abuse. This article explores how to recognize abuse in a BDSM relationship by examining warning signs, manipulation, coercion, and consent violations, helping readers distinguish healthy power exchange from harmful behavior while prioritizing safety, autonomy, and informed decision-making.
When Play is No Longer Play: Recognizing Abuse in a BDSM Relationship Read More »
This is a guest post by Miss Jessica. Everyone’s safety is extremely important of course, but in the BDSM community it is the people who give themselves up the most that have a greater chance of being hurt; submissives, slaves, and all others who fit into categories that fall under the umbrella term ‘bottom’. The degree
More Red Flags for Everyone – Personal Safety and Warnings Read More »
Every semester I present a BDSM panel at my alma mater for the Human Sexuality class. I’ve been doing it for almost 8 years now and it doesn’t appear to be ending any time soon. The teacher always asks for me to pull some people together and says that he gets a lot of excellent
Talking About BDSM to Vanilla Folk: What to Say and What to Avoid Read More »
This is a guest post by Darkrose. BDSM relationships make the argument on abuse much more complicated than it already is, and those in TPE relationship have an even harder time than that. For non-kinky people it’s pretty easy to define abuse. Webster’s Dictionary defines abuse as “improper use or handling, misuse, physical maltreatment, insulting
The Abuse Debate: A Matter of Acceptance Not Consent Read More »
Part 1: Information Please! If you’re a new submissive this lifestyle may seem overwhelming at first. A submissive I know terms it ‘the new submissive smell’. Dom/mes sense ‘new blood’, and swarm like piranhas to interact with, play with or train the new submissive in the group. Dom/mes may contact you online or meet you
Run Don’t Walk: Warning Signs of A Predator Dom/me Part 1 Read More »
Is the desire to be submissive natural or is it part of the way you were brought up? Especially when there was abuse involved. Those internal radars go off and want to blame the abuse for how you live your life now. I can’t say that I have the global answer, but I do have
Nurtured or Natural: The Connection Between Submission and Childhood Abuse Read More »
Predators and abusive Dominants are everywhere. Maintaining any relationship requires compromise or sacrifice, but you should never give up your wants and needs or put your happiness at bay. And when we’re newly in love, relationship red flags can be notoriously easy to miss or ignore — although they’re usually clear as day after the
10 Red Flags of Bad or Abusive Dominants Read More »
