BDSM safety Archives - Submissive Guide

What to Do When a BDSM Scene Goes Wrong: Important Advice for Submissives

By lunaKM / 10 minutes of reading

When a BDSM scene goes wrong, knowing how to respond can make all the difference. This guide for submissives explores common issues like ignored safewords, emotional triggers, injuries, and consent violations—plus practical steps to recover, protect yourself, and build resilience for future play. Stay safe, informed, and empowered in your BDSM journey.

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Altered Mental States in BDSM

By guest-author / 6 minutes of reading

This is a guest post by Mistress Steel. It was part of her Steel’s Chamber Scrolls which is now defunct. Shared with Permission. Venturing into the realms of Altered Mental States should be done carefully. The human mind is vulnerable to suggestion (as witnessed by the recent ‘cult’ suicides in LA). People often have an enormous

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How Can I Get Less Bruising from Caning?

By lunaKM / 3 minutes of reading

Hi, I just experienced my first caning, it’s a thin rounded, but oh did it sting, it left welts which is fine, but next morning it is really bruised, bad. Haven’t been able to sit for the last four days… I like pain, but caning isn’t what I thought, is there anything I can do

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DIY: Knife & Blood Play

By andyiccee / 5 minutes of reading

Trigger Warning: Blood play, cutting, blood and knives When I first filled out my BDSM checklist, I felt entirely insufficient. For every one activity that I really wanted to try, there were two that I said I never wanted to try. There seemed to be infinitely more zeros (which indicated hard limits) than threes (which

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After “Red” : How to Manage the Aftermath When You’ve Used Your Safeword

By lunaKM / 11 minutes of reading

A safeword is your lifeline in play—a vital way to communicate when you’ve reached a physical or emotional limit. For those who play with safewords, there’s often an unspoken expectation that they’re reserved for serious moments, making submissives hesitant to use them. But remember, using your safeword is never something to be afraid of. While

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How Far Should You Go On a First Date?

By lunaKM / 5 minutes of reading

When I was a novice submissive I was single and searching for a Dominant to be my playmate, my partner, and my lover. I explored all the places online that existed at the time, many that do not exist now or have been replaced by better sites. I was, in a word, desperate, to experience BDSM

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Is It Healthy to Do Humiliation as Punishment?

By lunaKM / 3 minutes of reading

Is it healthy to use humiliation as a punishment? I mean, it’s fun during scenes. You know it’s just play & you can always use your safe word if your Dominant hits you where it hurts. During punishments, you know your Dominant isn’t pleased with you, which is painful enough alone. That’s why you’re being

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After the Scene is Over – Clean-up, Aftercare, and Check-Ins

By lunaKM / 2 minutes of reading

Your scene has just ended and you both feel spent, exhausted and buzzing with good feelings. And then you look around the room, move your aching limbs and start to come out of your or play-induced fog. The room is a mess, there are toys everywhere. Both of you need aftercare. Who does what? How

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In Readiness – Scene Care and Aftercare

By lunaKM / 2 minutes of reading

Whether you are preparing for a scene or well into aftercare it’s always handy to have tools and resources at hand that can help you through all the stages of the play time many of us adore. I’ve gathered a list of the articles and essays on this site that are related to scene care

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Fainting, Headaches and Nausea: Facing Sudden Illness During Play/Scene Time

By lunaKM / 4 minutes of reading

We never want our scene time to end. It’s fun and pleasant and lovely. When we play we have a chance that the blissful time we are experiencing will end well or may end suddenly from something unexpected. Yes, we do everything we can to avoid having to stop play but when sudden illness takes

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Entering Sub Space Do’s and Don’ts

By lunaKM / 3 minutes of reading

When your body overloads on adrenaline or endorphins you can reach a high that many call subspace. It doesn’t happen to everyone, nor does it happen every single time you play. Sometimes it can happen if you are in an erotic exchange but not playing. You need to know what you should and shouldn’t do

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