Dominant/submissive and Master/slave dynamics are often confused, but they are not the same. This article explores the key differences between D/s and M/s relationships, including levels of authority, structure, consent, and expectations, helping submissives better understand which dynamic aligns with their needs and desires.
What are the differences between D/s and M/s? Read More »
Many submissives worry they must be healed, confident, or fully self-loving before they can be “good enough.” This article explores whether self-love is a prerequisite for submission, reframing growth as part of the journey, not a barrier to belonging or deserving a healthy D/s dynamic.
When a Dominant is new or feeling unsure, a submissive’s support can make a meaningful difference. This article explores how a willing submissive can help a nervous new Dominant feel more confident during scenes through communication, reassurance, feedback, and mutual trust, without taking over the power exchange.
How can a willing sub help a willing but nervous new Dom feel comfortable in the scene? Read More »
Attending munches or BDSM events can feel overwhelming for introverts or those with social anxiety. This article offers practical, compassionate tips for preparing, setting boundaries, and attending at your own pace, helping submissives feel more comfortable and confident in kink-friendly social spaces.
I’m an introvert with social anxiety. Any tips for going to munches or scene events? Read More »
When communication suddenly drops in a long-distance D/s relationship, it can feel confusing and deeply painful. This article explores possible reasons for communication gaps, how to cope emotionally, and ways to address the issue with honesty and care while protecting your own well-being.
My long distance partner cuts communication with me and it hurts, what can I do? Read More »
Brattiness isn’t about defiance for its own sake, it’s about playful energy, consent, and connection. This article explores creative ways to express bratty behavior in a healthy D/s dynamic, helping submissives keep things engaging, fun, and mutually satisfying without undermining trust or respect.
How can I find new creative ways to be bratty? Read More »
Collaring is deeply personal, and there’s no single “perfect” choice. This article explores how Dominants and submissives can approach choosing a collar together, considering symbolism, comfort, intention, and meaning, so the collar reflects the dynamic and commitment it represents rather than outside expectations.
How do we find the perfect collar? Read More »
When a Dominant needs time alone to decompress, an anxious submissive may feel hurt or rejected. This article explores how to respect a Dominant’s need for space while managing anxiety, improving communication, and strengthening the relationship through understanding, patience, and care.
Being outspoken or opinionated doesn’t make you a bad submissive. This article explores why personality traits aren’t inherently Dominant or submissive—and how honesty, communication, and self-awareness help you attract the right dynamic for your authentic self. Embrace who you are and find the partner who values it.
Is having strong opinions a bad trait in a submissive? Read More »
Question: How do you bring up wanting to escalate your relationship with your current play partner into a full dynamic? We have both expressed interest, but no concrete discussion has taken place. Answer: This is such a great question, because many of us find ourselves here at some point. Play partners can be wonderful, but
Question: Why is it called serving a Dominant? I don’t like that kind of phrasing and insinuation that I am somehow below the Dominant. Answer: It’s completely understandable that the word “serve” can rub you the wrong way. In everyday life, “service” often gets tangled up with ideas of being lesser, having lower status, or
Why is it called serving a Dominant? Read More »
The original question comes from a male Dominant/female submissive context, and the response reflects that framing. That said, the topic is relevant to D/s dynamics of all kinds, regardless of gender. “Fair” is such a complicated concept. “Fair” seems like a measurable emotion, like something to feel- a pea underneath the mattress where you know
How long should you chat with a Dom online before meeting? A week is a fair start, but don’t stay stuck in endless texting. Learn when it’s time to suggest a coffee date, what their response can reveal, and how to spot if they’re serious—or just stringing you along.
How long should I talk with a Dom online before a face to face date? Read More »
Question: How would you express changes in your feelings over poly to your Master, when the second sub he is considering you do not like her, without losing your relationship with him? Answer: When we’re in a power exchange relationship, especially a poly one, expressing hard feelings can feel like walking a tightrope. What if
This may be easier than you think, dear s-type! It is important to remember that finding the right Dominant or Top through dating or shopping around can sometimes feel challenging. I liken the vanilla dating pool to a bowl of cereal. Lots of individual options floating around. Now take a spoonful out and in there-
I want to be sexually submissive, but equal in day-to-day life. How to find a partner? Read More »
Absolutely—yes. And honestly, most people are. It’s easy to think we have to choose just one kind of submissive to be: service sub, brat, pet, slave, babygirl, rope bunny. The list of labels goes on, and while those identities can help us understand ourselves and communicate with partners, they’re not rigid boxes we have to
Can you be a blend of different submissives? Read More »
Question: I am just starting out on my sub journey. I know very little. That being said, I have learnt loads in the last few weeks. I have met a Dom, and we’ve been chatting, etc., and he’s been amazing answering all my questions. He is a sadist. We’ve just touched on punishment and he
What should I be thinking about when learning about punishment? Read More »
Question: Can you please do a post naming the different types of Dominants? There are so many different types, so there’s a great deal of curiosity. Answer: It is important to break this down into each side of the slash, so here are the general descriptions for some of the more common Dominant types. (Disclaimer:
What are the different types of Dominants? Read More »
Yes—absolutely, 100%, without a doubt—you need boundaries. With your Dominant. With your friends. With everyone you have a relationship with. A common misconception in BDSM is that safewords replace the need for boundaries. But the truth is, boundaries and safewords serve very different purposes, and both are necessary. Boundaries are personal. They’re your internal compass—what
Should you have boundaries with your Dominant, besides safe words? Read More »
The “princess submissive” is a unique archetype in the D/s world—graceful, playful, and full of charm. She (or they) brings a sense of elegance and fantasy into submission, blending soft vulnerability with a desire for attention, care, and adoration. A princess submissive isn’t just about being spoiled. It’s about being cherished. These subs thrive on
What is a princess submissive? Read More »
