Skip to content

Do you have tips to navigate play for subs who have depression/low self-esteem?

By / 2 minutes of reading

We know submission can be powerful, affirming, and deeply validating—but when you’re carrying the weight of depression or low self-worth, that same vulnerability can feel overwhelming. You’re not alone in this. If you’re not seeing a professional to help improve your mental health, you can find a list of kink-aware therapists at kapprofessionals.org. Navigating play […]

Do you have tips to navigate play for subs who have depression/low self-esteem? Read More »

Any ideas for Anticipatory Service (I’d like to do more without their asking me)?

By / 2 minutes of reading

Question: I want to do more for my Dom in terms of serving without him asking me. Do you have any ideas? Answer: That’s a wonderful instinct, and it speaks volumes about your desire to deepen your submission and connection. Serving without being asked is often called anticipatory service—and it’s all about tuning into your

Any ideas for Anticipatory Service (I’d like to do more without their asking me)? Read More »

Am I obligated to answer questions about what humiliates me if it embarrasses me?

By / 2 minutes of reading

Question: Last week, in the introductory phase, I had a Domme ask me what humiliates me.  I hesitated to tell her because it also embarrassed me.  Hope that makes sense.   I ended up telling her, but it was very uncomfortable.    What are your thoughts on this question, and am I obligated to answer this?

Am I obligated to answer questions about what humiliates me if it embarrasses me? Read More »

What are your favorite BDSM-related podcasts?

By / 2 minutes of reading

With so many great BDSM-related podcasts out there, it’s easier than ever to learn, grow, and feel connected to the community. Whether you’re looking for educational deep dives, personal stories, or just good conversations about kink, there’s something for everyone. Here are a few of the podcasts I’m currently listening to: Erotic Awakening Podcast is

What are your favorite BDSM-related podcasts? Read More »

Any tips for D/s dynamic with kids at home?

By / 2 minutes of reading

It is really easy to understand managing vanilla relationships around others (including kids living at home). It boils down to understanding one crucial concept: discretion.  Discretion: the quality of behaving or speaking in a way to avoid causing offence or (IMPORTANTLY) revealing confidential information.  We can mostly agree that kissing your spouse “bye” in front

Any tips for D/s dynamic with kids at home? Read More »

How do you know if I’ll enjoy submission if I’ve only been exposed through erotic novels?

By / 2 minutes of reading

Question: I’ve been a voracious reader of BDSM and D/S erotic novels for years and am not sure if I enjoy it just as entertainment or because I feel like something might be missing from my life.  How do you know if you are a submissive, and if you think you might be, how do

How do you know if I’ll enjoy submission if I’ve only been exposed through erotic novels? Read More »

What kinds of punishments and rewards would you implement into a personal protocol as a single submissive?

By / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: During my research on Submissive Guide, I’ve learned about personal protocol. I don’t have a dom currently and am looking to understand more about punishments and rewards for personal protocol. What kinds of punishments and rewards do you implement into your personal protocol, or would you recommend for a sub without a dom? 

What kinds of punishments and rewards would you implement into a personal protocol as a single submissive? Read More »

Should the non-kinky person make an effort to accommodate the kinky person’s needs and wants even if they are not interested?

By / 2 minutes of reading

Short answer: no. And the kinky person shouldn’t expect you to.  In any healthy relationship, whether kinky or not, communication, respect, and mutual understanding are key. If one partner has specific needs or desires, the other person needs to be open to listening and discussing them, even if they don’t share those interests. However, this

Should the non-kinky person make an effort to accommodate the kinky person’s needs and wants even if they are not interested? Read More »

Can Two Submissives Have a Relationship?

By / 3 minutes of reading

Full Question: Can two BDSM submissives have a regular vanilla relationship? What happens as the couple grows closer, and one person wants the other to change to a Top/Dom? Answer: Let’s start by saying there is no “normal relationship.” Can two submissives have a successful vanilla relationship together? The answer is “yes, two people can

Can Two Submissives Have a Relationship? Read More »

How Do I Reconnect with My Submission When I Feel Disconnected?

By / 3 minutes of reading

Full Question: I’ve been with Master for almost 9 months, and although I love our relationship, I feel there is a disconnect with my submission. Recently, I’ve been acting out and just messing up. It’s not all a conscious decision; I just do some of it without thought or plan. I don’t know how to

How Do I Reconnect with My Submission When I Feel Disconnected? Read More »

Can you have different tolerances to pain over time?

By / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: I’ve identified as a masochist for a fair bit now, but I have recently discovered that I can’t handle as much as I used to. I’m just wondering, can someone who once enjoyed pain not enjoy it as much anymore?  Answer: It’s absolutely possible for a masochist’s tolerance or preference for pain to

Can you have different tolerances to pain over time? Read More »

Advice for Newly Discovered Submission in a Committed Relationship

By / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: Do you have any advice for someone already in a committed relationship (marriage, for example) who discovers that she is submissive or at least has submissive tendencies? Until this discovery, the sex was mostly vanilla with very light choking play occasionally (so my partner MIGHT have some interest). Answer: I have lived this

Advice for Newly Discovered Submission in a Committed Relationship Read More »

What are some ways to satisfy your need to submit if you aren’t with a Dominant?

By / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: What are some ways to satisfy your need to submit if you aren’t with a Dominant? Answer:  I do believe that you can feel submissive without a Dominant, but it’s not easy. There are things you can do to help focus submissive energy in almost everything you do. First, there is no direct

What are some ways to satisfy your need to submit if you aren’t with a Dominant? Read More »

What can I do to help me focus on my submission and scene time?

By / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: Everything is distracting. What can I do to help me focus on my submission and scene time? Answer:  Distractions can be a challenge, but with some mindful strategies, you can improve your concentration and presence. Here’s some advice to help you stay centered and connected no matter what’s going on around you: Mind

What can I do to help me focus on my submission and scene time? Read More »

Do the Dominant’s desires and satisfaction come first?

By / 2 minutes of reading

Full Question: Do the Dominant’s desires and satisfaction come first? Are their needs and desires the main goal of submission? Answer:  I can really relate to this question. When I first started exploring submission, I believed that it was my duty/calling/job to make sure my Dominant’s needs and desires were always fulfilled, often to the

Do the Dominant’s desires and satisfaction come first? Read More »

Scroll to Top