I have heard it a thousand times, someone doesn’t like pain so they are not interested in BDSM. In practically every case the person making that statement retracts it once they find out how erotic some pain can be. Pain doesn’t have to be painful, and other stimuli can be pleasurable and can either mask
I’m a masochist and get sexual pleasure from pain; that’s wired into me. I’m also submissive. It’s who I am. For me, these two things go together. It’s not always the case. A huge misunderstanding is that you have to like pain to be submissive. Masochism is a part of your sexual identity; you either
This is a guest post from Calliope. I’ve always thought of myself as a complete wuss when it comes to pain. My typical response to anything that hurts has always been of the “hide in my room and cry until it goes away” variety. Of course, “looking pitiful until someone takes mercy on me” has also
This is a guest post by Erika McClean. There is a whip in my closet that is an antique. It’s the kind that Drayers would use on their horse teams when driving a carriage. When I’ve been particularly bad, or good, Master will unhook that puppy from the rope it’s hanging on. Those moments, as he
This is a guest post by Erika McClean. Do you ever have that feeling when your Master is working you over and waiting for you to say “uncle,” that you will be damned if you’re going to say it before his arm gets too tired to flog you anymore? I do. I’m a brat through and
This is a guest post by Erika McClean. Everything your partner is doing is driving you crazy. They leave the toothpaste cap off. There was no note to let you know where they went off to that morning. There is fast food trash in your car when you hop in to go to work. The list
This is a guest post by Erika McLean. Why do people kneel and let other people order them about and hit them with things? It’s perhaps the most common thing I get asked when people find out my sexual interests. Why, why, why? There are volumes of things written about this but, being as I’m a
So lately I seem to be extra sensitive to pain, and by lately I mean the last several months. I’m worried that I’ve lost my ability to enjoy and endure pain. Is there something I can do to de-sensitize myself. I like pain and miss it!! Sincerely, I Miss Being a Pain Slut! Hey there, Pain
Whether you are a hard-core masochist or just a light explorer of sadomasochistic pain play there are always opportunies to experience more, push yourself harder and enhance your pain management techniques. How you learn to do this, and the techniques you employ are unique from submissive to submissive (masochist to masochist) – however there are
About a month ago I sat down to record a podcast with the crew at KinkyCast.com and today it’s live! I talked with Gabrielle, Woody and the Beast about how to process pain during play, why it’s important to understand and how to positively process pain to make your play last longer, be more fulfilling and perhaps
When we learn about pain processing in relation to play and scenes with our sadist partner it’s always a good idea to understand negative processing methods. The things that make handling pain and enjoying longer sessions harder and sometimes impossible. Hopefully, you’ve learned about your own negative methods in the previous video. Today we’ll talk
If you ask any sadist what they enjoy out of pain play, it’s likely going to be watching the bottom respond to the pain. The more response, the higher the enjoyment for the top. Why is this important? Well, if the method of pain management doesn’t allow you to respond well to the pain, then
Everyone you meet has different methods for how they handle pain. Think about the last time your stubbed your toe. How did you respond to the pain? Did you jump up and down? Curse? Cry? Hold your breath? Walk it off? How you handle pain is a result of nature and nurture. Perhaps as you
This essay was first written and published in the Society of Janus newsletter “Growing Pains.” I hope you enjoy! Pushing boundaries in pain tolerance is a common request for submissives of all flavors. As a masochist I enjoy pain for the sake of pain. I don’t always want to escape from it; rarely do I
We are nearing the end of this series on pain processing in play. What do you think can interrupt your pain processing ability? If you’ve experienced anything like I have, there are moments where you just can’t change the pain response to anything beyond pain. What normally feels really good is just not. There are
In this last post in the pain management series, we’ll talk about the false edge, limits and the true edge. I hope you’ve enjoyed this series as much as I’ve enjoyed writing it for you. Over the course of the previous posts, we’ve hopefully learned how the body processes pain, the benefits of pain processing
Continuing on the topic of processing pain we come to a very basic question, “What’s the benefit of this pain, anyway?” If you aren’t a masochist this can be a question with no clear answer. Some say, “it is part of submission,” others “to please their Sadistic Top,” and still others can say, “the benefits
This is a continuing of the series on pain processing. If you want to read previous essays, check the first in the series on natural pain processing. Pain processing is natural to a certain extent. For some people—boys more than girls—an additional degree of pain processing is taught from a very early age, but not always
I’m continuing the discussion on processing pain in play today. If you missed yesterday’s post, you’ll want to read about Negative Pain Management Techniques first. If you want to go back to the beginning you can do that too. Now that we’ve learned the negative ways we manage pain during play I’d like to cover a couple of the
Yesterday we talked about the three ways that people naturally process pain. Today and tomorrow I’m going to cover the ways we manage the pain we experience. I’m going to stick with describing the pain that we experience during play for this discussion. Now, part of these posts will talk about the benefits from play that
