When looking for a Dominant, how do you know they are the one?

Full Question: I recently met a Dominant who is amazing and “seems” to be exactly what I have been looking for, but I’m afraid that he is too good to be true. When looking for a new Dominant, how do I know that he could be my next Master?

Answer: 

Relationships are hard work. Once you’ve moved past the initial infatuation, the honeymoon phase, you get a more profound sense of who someone is and whether they might be the right person for you. 

Relationship advice online and in magazines has much to say about telling if the person you’re dating is right for you, and all those articles are great to reference. We are, after all, looking for a person to build a long-lasting relationship with, and standard relationship advice still applies.

When someone gives you undivided attention, you can find compromise and negotiate things well to meet in the middle easily; you feel good when you’re with them, and they have the same core values, then you’re well on your way to finding someone that matches what you are looking for. 

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Adding Dominance to that, you need to seek someone who is your match for what you’re looking for in power exchange and in any kinks you have. 

If you haven’t taken any time to figure out what you are looking for, then take some time right now and think about what you need in a partner. 

You can only know if someone is a match for you if you are willing to talk about what you both are looking for in a partner and get to know each other. It takes time.

When someone seems too good to be true, they typically are. Is there something about them that is throwing alarm bells? Address that first, even if it feels like a personal insecurity about not knowing what you want. 

We all want to have a perfect partner. I wish you luck in finding your match. Enjoy the journey. 

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