Asking for release from a relationship is never an easy thing to do regardless of the reasons and how it is done. It is not something one does lightly and shouldn’t be something someone does without thought and consideration to all the factors involved. It is something that I have recently had to do – ask for release. It pained me but I knew it was past time really.
Sometimes relationships don’t work out for whatever reason. I’m not even going to try and place blame on any one thing or even the other person involved because it takes two to make a relationship truly work. There were things that I wasn’t seeing happening and I was getting stressed out about the relationship. Submission shouldn’t be a stressful thing, and it shouldn’t leave you asking a ton of questions about yourself at the end of the day.
I did one thing wrong though when I asked for my release. I lost my cool and asked for release when I was angry and upset. This was something about which I knew better, but I did it anyway. I was deeply hurt that my Dominant didn’t even blink an eye and simply granted me my release. In many ways, I have then since regretted my decision to ask for release because of how I went about it.
What is the proper way to ask for release from a Dominant? • With respect, ask to talk to your Dominant. • Talk about what you think is going wrong in the relationship and see if there can’t be some resolution. • Talk about what is going right in the relationship. • Bring up any concerns that you may have about the relationship without coming to finger pointing. If you do, it doesn’t resolve anything. • In a cool and calm manner state that you wish to be released from the relationship.
I know that when feelings are involved in the situation it is hard sometimes to keep your cool. Even someone like me, who has been in the lifestyle for 12+ years, can forget that. I have learned a valuable lesson from all of this though. Keep your cool and don’t do anything while angry about something.
With release come many things and emotions, regardless if it is amicable or not. For me came the sense of loss and the feeling of being lost. I had a structure system that kept me on my toes and suddenly that was gone. There was no one to tell me what I should be doing any more and I soon found myself struggling to do the least little thing on my own.
I found that I was not really prepared to be without a Dominant. Why? I think it is a complex answer. I didn’t really expect him not to “fight” for me but in the end there wasn’t even a “Are you sure this is what you want?” question asked. To this day that saddens me to no end. I felt as though there was no truth then to the words previously spoken to me.
Perhaps that is ill of me to even say but it made me doubt everything about the relationship. It was my first foray back into real time submission. Maybe I needed someone with a bit more patience and understanding of my situation? After all I am a stay-at-home submissive and not every Dominant wants that.
There is seldom an easy road ahead for a released submissive. For me it seemed as though the vultures were circling, waiting for their chance to talk to me and convince me to be theirs. For me that simply leaves a bitter pill in my mouth. Don’t they understand that a submissive should and does need time to reflect and heal from their journey before moving on?
I am gradually finding my footing once more and with the help of wonderful friends I will find my way back. For a while I was afraid muse would leave me, but I have a feeling it is just waiting for me to have something to write about again. There are, as they say, other “fish” in the sea and I will find the next journey when it is the proper time. So for now I am simply on my own and will find enjoyment in it.
For now I am under the protection of a dear friend because I needed someone I could talk to as I heal. He is giving me guidance and some structure so that I can feel not so lost. I am never truly alone because of the friendship that has lasted over a year now. I am grateful for his guidance and time.