A couple weeks ago I held a Roundtable discussion on Polyamory. You had a lot to say about it.
I also had a guest post on polyamory, written by May.
Coming up this week is a second guest post about having two Dominats in a poly relationship by Aria. Keep an eye out for that one!
I’d like to share what you said in the comments. Please feel free to continue the conversation. I’d love to hear what else you have to say about Polyamorous relationships.
ellemenopea said:
What does polyamory mean to you? Having loving relationships with multiple people
How did you decide that polyamory was something you wanted? I didn’t really, it just sort of happened through a series of events.
How do you deal with jealousy? Luckily, it’s not a huge issue in our relationships. Mostly, I try to remind myself that I don’t own anyone’s time. I also try to make sure everyone in my life gets some amount of time just for us.
How do you balance the relationship with more than one partner? Right now it’s not an issue, as everyone in my life has some distance. Scheduling time is the biggest thing.
What is your support system like within the relationship? I feel comfortable going to different people for different things, but overall, I feel that the people in my life and my partner’s lives are trustworthy and wonderful. It really gives me an extended network of people who care about me and lend a hand when necessary. It also makes me feel part of a family.
If you have more than one Dominant partner, how does the control get passed between the Dominants as it pertains to you? There is a hierarchy in our relationship, where Sir decided who has how much control, on a case by case basis.
SereneKitten said:
1. What does polyamory mean to you? — Having more than one relationship at a time. These relationships can be very loving and committed, a “friends with benefits” situation, or a mix.
2. How did you decide that polyamory was something you wanted? — I was curious about it and wanted to give it a try. My first casual “threesome” went badly, probably due to poor ground rules. My next encounter was more structured and I set clear limits.
3. How do you deal with jealousy? — Jealousy stems from insecurity from within oneself. You have to realize your own self-worth and strengths before you can recognize that what you bring into the relationship is different from any other partner.
4. How do you balance the relationship with more than one partner? — Even if time cannot be split equally between the partners, one MUST make time for each of the other partners. Time as a group is wonderful, but one-on-one time is priceless.
5. What is your support system like within the relationship? — We are there for each other. One of our rules is that any subject is open to discussion with zero repercussions. Open, honest communication is key. We can’t know about a problem if no one tells us about it!
6. If you have more than one Dominant partner, how does the control get passed between the Dominants as it pertains to you? — Not applicable.
Obi said:
1. What does polyamory mean to you? Loving more than one partner fairly but not necessarily equally.
2. How did you decide that polyamory was something you wanted? I kept falling in love with a second person without wanting to give the first one up, or believing that I should have to do so.
3. How do you deal with jealousy? Through honest and open communication, just like any other “negative” feeling.
4. How do you balance the relationship with more than one partner? Schedules help, but again keeping everyone in the loop discussion was helps us access where the emotional energies need to be concentrated at any one time.
5. What is your support system like within the relationship? Fabulous! All of my partners are in love with each other.
6. If you have more than one Dominant partner, how does the control get passed between the Dominants as it pertains to you? They do not Dominate me together, but will discuss issues with each other when they arise to make sure that their Mastery is on the same page.
RequiemKittyPup said:
1. What does polyamory mean to you? ~~~~ for me, polyamory is when one person is able to have romantic and intimate love with more than one other individual.
2. How did you decide that polyamory was something you wanted?~~~ when i fell in love with 2 different men. i however do not *need* polyamory and while am open to it, i can live without it.
3. How do you deal with jealousy? ~~~open and honest communication. ensuring each person in the relationship has equal time with the other participants. ensuring that all participants are aware of everybody’s needs, wants and limits.
4. How do you balance the relationship with more than one partner? ~~~ again, ensuring that all partners have equal time. and also, ensuring that all partners speak up if something is off balance. Ensuring all know of each other’s needs wants and limits.
5. What is your support system like within the relationship? ~~~~ n/a
6. If you have more than one Dominant partner, how does the control get passed between the Dominants as it pertains to you? ~~~ i’ve never done this, but the way i would go about it would be to have one Dom be primary. Perhaps not dominant to the other dom, but have one dom be primary and if the primary dom is gone or whatever, then the control automatically passes to the other one.