Full Question: I’m a submissive who’s dominant and won’t tie me up. He never wants to have sex with me. I love him, but I’m so unhappy When it comes to our sex life. He isn’t attracted to me. I lived with him for 3 months & he tied me up once & barely did anything? He’s looking at women online who are younger & in better shape. If I don’t do something fast, I’ll lose him. He won’t humiliate me or use me. He barely looks at me. He’s not into me, but he says someday it will happen. What if someday never comes?
Answer:
I’m so sorry to hear that you’re struggling right now. I understand that you have this desire to fix it, or you’ll lose him, but I’d like you to take a moment to look at this from the outside.
If you saw a friend so unhappy and they expressed that their partner wasn’t attracted to them but hoped they would eventually change their mind, what would you say to them?
It’s not up to you to “make” your partner get attracted to you if they aren’t. It’s not likely something that will happen later, either. Attractiveness is one of those base compatibilities. They are, or they aren’t. That’s it.
Unfortunately, it sounds like you are being used for whatever you provide in the relationship. He isn’t providing you with the things you need, making you unhappy. I think you have a difficult decision to make. Love isn’t everything. You deserve happiness.
You don’t want to live for someday (or never) when you can have a partner who is attracted to you and makes you happy now.
I wish you all the happiness and strength to make your decisions now. Take care of yourself.