Trust is a big factor in all relationships. I would even go as far to say that trust is an even bigger factor in D/s and M/s relationships than most others, but I could be wrong. How do you know when you really trust someone? I know a lot of people out there say they trust their partner with their lives or trust their partner is going to take care of them, but do you trust your partner enough to move to a completely new country where you don’t speak the language?
I did…and it’s the best decision I have ever made.
Let me give you some background info….
I moved in with a M/s couple to be the beta in a poly relationship that had its ups and downs. As life always goes, things happen. My Master, who is originally from Germany, had to return to Germany last January due to family reasons and the three of us went our separate ways. Before He had left, He removed His collar from around my neck, which was one of the most disheartening feelings I ever had in my life. He did this because He didn’t expect me to move halfway across the world with Him and give up my life in the U.S. nor did He want to keep me from looking for a new master in my future. I moved back home with my parents and went on with life. During this time, I didn’t feel right. I felt off kilter. Something was missing. I had thought about filling that void with alcohol as I had once done in the past, but knew that doing so would accomplish nothing, other than slowly killing my liver once again, so I engaged myself with friends, burying myself into books, wasting countless hours online trying to fill the void. There was nothing that could distract me.
Even though I had been uncollared and was now separated from the one man who I knew would be able to fill the void and give me what I needed as a slave by a few thousand miles, my feelings for Him had never gone away. I was still in love with Him, felt bonded and connected to Him. At first after the separation, I didn’t dare to contact Him. I couldn’t do it. But I swallowed my fears and sent Him an email. We began talking once again, reconnecting and discussing views on the lifestyle and in life in general. During one of our chats, I was asking Him how He felt about being home, about the differences between Germany and the United States. He was lonely and miserable, due to adjusting to life back in Germany after almost fifteen years in the United States. I told Him I could completely relate, how my life hadn’t been the same since He removed my collar, even though I understood His intentions. I asked Him why He didn’t order me, as His slave to move with Him. He said that would have been completely unfair of Him to expect something like that out of me. I became a bit ballsy and asked if He still wanted me as a slave.. I got a yes and that set the ball rolling.
In the month or so before my leaving the US for a new country, He did a lot of, well, at least tried to do a lot of scare tactics. Warning me of culture shock, language barrier, being far away from everybody and everything I ever knew. It didn’t work. Despite His every attempt to scare me, I never once hesitated to change my answer every time He asked “Are you sure you want to do this?”. So, in April of this year, I bought a plane ticket to Germany.
Moving to Germany has made me realize just how important trust is. Before now, I have never really relied solely on one person before. Here I am in a completely new culture and don’t know the language well enough to even order myself a cup of coffee. Yes, most do know some English, but some act like they don’t and look at you funny when you do speak to them in English. It’s more than scary to be in a new place and know just enough of the language to be able to find a public bathroom on my own. Knowing that, for the next few years I have no way to have an income of my own – short of begging on the street corner. Until I can get a better grasp on the language and culture (which more than likely will be a couple years as well), I depend on Him to speak for me and to help me get around the city and even the grocery stores. Just because it looks like a can of tomato soup, that doesn’t mean it’s tomato soup (I bought a can of cream of lobster soup because the picture LOOKED like tomato soup). I never once doubted my Master, even before He removed my collar. I knew that accepting His collar was a huge sign of my trust in Him. Moving to be with Him in a new country was to me, an even bigger sign of my trust in Him. To know that without a doubt that He’s not going to put me in harm’s way (hell, He could have sold me off to someone on the street and I wouldn’t know what was happening until the deal was already done), knowing that He’s going to be able to financially support me, making sure I have everything I need. Before I moved, I knew what I was doing would require a great deal of trust, but I didn’t realize just how much until after I arrived in my new home. It was something that was quickly realized after going through customs in the Frankfurt airport to have my passport stamped. I then realized just how excited and scared I was to be here, and what a HUGE relief it was to see my Master standing on the other side of the customs counter waiting for me.
Any slave or submissive, new or old should consider just how much they trust another before becoming someone’s property. Not only is it a huge responsibility on the owner’s end to take care of their property, but also a huge responsibility of the property to have that kind of trust that is needed to be that person’s property.