Full Question: Do you think it is a must to have a contract? I’m not sure I’m comfortable with having one.
Answer:
I can understand your hesitation, so let’s get this out of the way right up front: BDSM contracts are not required to have a happy, healthy relationship. Many relationships function just fine without them. However, other dynamics still find them to be a valuable tool in their relationship.
What is a BDSM contract?
A contract is a physical document outlining the D/s relationship. It is a living document you can review regularly to ensure it still meets your needs in the dynamic. It is not a legally binding document but more of a symbolic agreement between two consenting individuals. Some contracts are very formal and have multiple pages, while others are as brief as a few paragraphs.
Are they legal?
D/s relationship contracts are not legally binding. They have no validity in court, and you can not use them for disputes after a relationship ends. Contracts of this nature are more about the spiritual connection, the emotional and physical commitment established by the people signing them. They are morally binding, which makes them very special to the people involved.
I don’t know why you are uncomfortable having a contract, but that’s normal, too. The word contract is scary and has lots of other connotations. It feels like a big deal. But it doesn’t have to be.
First, I understand that you may not want to have your decisions, wants, needs, or intentions written down. Perhaps it feels more permanent, and you might feel like you can’t back out or change things if you discover things need to be adjusted. Contracts are often for a set period of time before they are re-evaluated.
Maybe you don’t want someone else to discover this document and know what structure your relationship has.
Whatever your hesitation, you can decide that a contract is unnecessary.