Full Question: Do the Dominant’s desires and satisfaction come first? Are their needs and desires the main goal of submission?
Answer:
I can really relate to this question. When I first started exploring submission, I believed that it was my duty/calling/job to make sure my Dominant’s needs and desires were always fulfilled, often to the detriment of my own desires and needs. My first few years of submission were miserable because I wasn’t taking care of myself as well as I was taking care of my partner.
In a healthy D/s relationship, the submissive’s primary focus is not solely on the Dominant’s desires and satisfaction. While pleasing the Dominant is an essential aspect of submission, it should not come at the expense of the submissive’s own well-being. A good Dominant will prioritize their submissive’s growth, safety, and happiness, recognizing that a happy submissive is more likely to provide a satisfying experience for both parties. Thankfully, I have that now.
A D/s relationship is built on mutual respect, trust, and open communication. While a Dominant may have certain desires and expectations, you should feel comfortable expressing your own needs, boundaries, and limitations. A good Dominant will respect and prioritize these boundaries, ensuring your needs are met and your well-being is maintained.
In summary, the satisfaction of the Dominant is important, but so is the fulfillment of the submissive. In many BDSM dynamics, the submissive derives pleasure and satisfaction from meeting the Dominant’s desires, which can be a form of emotional or psychological fulfillment. Conversely, a good Dominant is often attuned to the needs and well-being of the submissive, ensuring that their submission is rewarding and not harmful.