I have been in a D/s relationship for eight months, but he has a problem with moving forward, asking three things of me. Kneeling when he comes in, being naked, and calling him Sir. Calling him Sir, I have a hard time doing all the time. I feel that I want to know how he feels about me before he gets called that very special word. I have told him that, he says it is just a word, and I say it is more. He says our relationship will not go forward, without me calling him Sir. Am I nuts?
No, you aren’t nuts. But it does sound like he has a different feeling over the title Sir. He feels it’s just a title to be used in a D/s setting and you feel that Sir has emotions and connection attached to it. So, in this case, there’s a conflict.
You will either have to accept that he doesn’t feel the same about the title and use it under his definition or explain to him your definition and see if he can get on board with it. Since you say your relationship will not progress without you submitting to using the title, then I think he won’t relent and insists you use it under his terms.
The challenge with everything related to BDSM and D/s is that almost all of the terms have personal interpretations. That’s where most of the discussions and word drama happens online. No one can agree on the definitions of common terms because everyone has a different impression for them. In a new relationship, it’s helpful to sit down and talk about basic definitions like Dom and sub and safety, titles and roles. It can help you have less conflict when differences like this arise.
Getting back to your situation, I don’t have a black and white answer for you. Will he tell you how he feels about you? If he does, will it help you? Are you willing to change your definition of Sir and what it means to you so that you can continue the relationship you have? Or will you stand by your definition and search for someone who agrees? How important is this relationship to you? Is the definition and use of a title the breaking point? Can you find a compromise with him? Only you can answer that.
