The standard American “Disney” propaganda tells us in no uncertain terms that we are to hold our love and our bodies back until we meet “the one” with whom we will discover that magical connection. It will last forever and ever, and there will be happy endings all around.
A lot of us, men and women, have unhappily discovered that this just ain’t so. With an acknowledged divorce rate of 50% — and edging closer to 75% every year — too many disappointed lovers are wandering in a walking-undead state of incomplete and unsatisfied love. They don’t know what it is, much less what to do about it, so they react with self-destruction: promiscuity, over-indulgence in drugs or alcohol or food (or all the above), other self-damage, and even suicide.
How do I know this? I’m not some multi-degreed expert in human behavior, just a fellow sufferer who has found another way. For me, and maybe for you if you’ve already discovered SubmissiveGuide, that way is “Being Love” versus “Being In Love” — and expressing that love in a D/s relationship with no desire or expectation of ever being “in love” with my dom. As we grow in trust and time together could we fall “in love”? Certainly. But do I feel a need for that all-encompassing obsessive experience of being “in love”, and would I trade our mutual respect and regard for it? Not on your life.
Submission is very much a spiritual thing with me, more so than even the strong emotional and mental aspects and the physical thrill that it gives me. I suspect that this is true of most people who share that “drive toward submission” that can’t be explained. Maybe I’m just not spiritually evolved enough yet to hear the voice of God clearly, but I do believe that the connection I made with this particular stranger was divinely inspired, as was my choice to submit to him. Over the months our relationship has grown in good and unexpected directions, and we do plan to make it 24/7 real-time within the next year or two.
But we have not met, and I am not “in love” with him. At the same time, this relationship makes it possible for me to express on a daily basis the intense love that fills me more than vanilla outlets such as job or community service can accommodate.
If anybody reading this has been holding back from choosing a compatible-seeming dominant and petitioning them to accept your submission, just ask yourself “Why hold back?” Create a time-limited renewable contract and go for it. He or she might indeed not be “The One”, but it is not as important that we find perfect love as it is that we express that love that seethes and bubbles inside of us, that we submit to that universal power and let it loose on somebody — that we go ahead and dare to BE the complete and wondrous human being that we truly are, that we dare to BE love.