Full Question: Hi! Please, I need help with some rules for a first date. I can’t find it on Fetlife. Thank you so much.
Answer:
First and foremost, this is a date. It’s just like any other date you may have been on. The only difference is that you are dating someone to see if there is compatibility to be your authority transfer partner, which can cause unnecessary worry.
A few rules for first dates apply to anyone seeing anyone for the first time.
Meet in public, preferably where other people will be, such as restaurants, bars, coffee shops, etc.
Set up a safe call. Make sure someone else knows where you’ll be and who you’ll be with. If you don’t call at an arranged time, they are to call you, and then, if something is wrong, call the authorities.
Arrange your own transportation. It’s too early to share where you live, so keep that extra privacy a while longer and meet at the date location. Park under a street light if you can.
Follow a few common safe date protocols. Let the host or bar attendant know you are here on a blind or first date. It’s common for these people to then look out for you. Do not leave your food or drink unattended. Carry a panic button or other safety device.
Everyone has a different idea of how far to go on a first date or what it should involve. Some are perfectly okay playing on a first date or having sex. Set those boundaries before the date, and do not budge on them. Pressure from this new date is a red flag. Listen to that.
I recommend that you do not agree to any of their requests or rules, such as what to wear, how to order your food, or calling them Sir. This is a first date, and those things can cause you to lose focus on what is really important – getting to know this person and seeing if there is compatibility beyond the lust and frenzy you may be feeling.
Common sense should prevail. Listen closely. If it feels wrong, then it is. Whatever the reason, trust your gut feeling and analyze it later. Just get out of the situation.
I wish you luck in your dating adventures!