You’ve Been a Bad Submissive: Learn How to Atone and Forgive Yourself

I can’t say that everyone gets into trouble without admitting that I get into trouble so here goes. I get into trouble. Not regularly or habitually, but sometimes. I’m in trouble right now in fact. Some of my punishment completed but I have a few weeks of “no pop” to get through yet.  As a submissive, it’s hard to not beat yourself up over being unintentionally disobedient. I’ve been known to mope around for days after I’ve been in trouble; basically still punishing myself – even though the punishment is complete.

Punishment is so that when it’s complete you can move on with a clean slate. So, how do you cure that post-infraction funk?

First, you need to figure out why you are still feeling bad about the disobedience.

• Was it the actual act that you are feeling guilty about?
• How did it impact your Dominant?
• Does it have long-standing effects on the relationship?
• Was the punishment too harsh (in your opinion)?
• Was the punishment not harsh enough (in your opinion)?
• Something else?

Once you are able to answer these questions it’s time for a talk with your Dominant. Make sure you set up a safe environment to talk – drop your roles, remove distractions and present the issue without attacking the person. Tell them that you are still having problems with recovering from your recent misbehavior. It’s likely that they already know this but tell them anyway. Share with them how you are feeling and your answers to the above questions. Be honest and open about it.

Seek Atonement

If, after talking about it, you still feel bothered, it may be time to ask for atonement. Atonement isn’t more punishment it’s another way to feel that you’ve repaid someone for a misdeed. Perhaps a ritualistic kneeling and asking forgiveness will lift your weight. Think about a way that you feel will help and do that. It doesn’t have to be fancy; just do its job.

A Second Punishment Cycle

Another way to try to get out of the funk is to ask for more punishment. Sure, it sounds like an insane suggestion, but especially in the case where you feel that the punishment wasn’t harsh enough, your Dominant could help you recover and return to yourself by punishing you again. This would be a more cathartic punishment with a different goal since you have likely already been forgiven with the first punishment.  Allow them to help you feel that the worst is over. Your catharsis could be crying, or deep thumping pain like a flogging. Your Dominant might even know exactly the thing to help you over the edge.

You are Human

Lastly, and probably the hardest for submissives to accept is that there will always be mistakes. You are still human and no matter how perfect your life is, sometimes things will get out of hand, you’ll forget yourself or something else will catapult you into a moment of disobedience.  Remember also, that your Dominant knows you are human and that there will be times of correction. That’s why after punishment you are forgiven. He or she has already moved on. They hope that you will too.