This is a guest post by Dara.
What is Kajira? If you had asked me that 4 months ago I would have had no clue. Slave girl? Now there’s a term I recognized, and if you had made the suggestion that I would one day in the very near future submit myself to becoming someone’s slave I would have laughed in your face. And probably not so kindly reminded you that I am a bold, opinionated, fiery Aries who would NEVER allow someone else to control me in any way shape or form. I would have been ticked off at the very mention of the suggestion. Nooo, I’m far too headstrong for that. I have my own opinions and I refuse to let anyone have any say over anything. Thank you very much. After all, anyone would be crazy to let someone else have that much control. (Do you see a common theme here?) I’m a single mother, I’m all by myself, which means if I don’t do it, it doesn’t get done. If I don’t take care of it, the whole world goes to hell in a hand basket. That’s just the way life is right?
Well, someone DID suggest it to me, oh so subtly at first. Bit by bit, inch by inch I was shown this whole new possibility. And for some strange reason, it caught me off guard. You mean I DON’T have to be running myself ragged trying to keep my world from falling apart? You mean there’s someone out there who can actually show me how to become a better person, woman, and mother? You mean, there’s a whole new world to experience besides the Plain Jane one that sits right here before my eyes? Yeah right! But there was. And is. And continues to be. And I’m loving my head first plunge into this bright new world. Let me Explain…
What does being a Kajira mean to me? In a generalized view, it means being a useful tool in Master’s life. Specifically, it means to love beyond any I’ve experienced before. It means exposing the “dark” side of my personality that has lain dormant all my life. It means commitment- to this lifestyle to My Master, My Love. And exposing myself to so much more beyond anything to be experienced within “normal society”.
To attempt to absorb this as a whole creates a sort of shock to the system. Believe me; I was sure as hell shocked! Even to the point, I could not comprehend all that was happening at first. But, I think I’m now slightly more able to adapt, or at least to take it in. Let me begin with my first point. I am Kajira. I am a slave. First off that makes me a tool to be used at my Master’s every whim. Whether that is for sexual pleasure, for comfort, for massage, or just to sit in position as commanded. I am currently being trained to behave as my Master sees fit. Or, to continue the analogy of a tool, I am being sharpened to a fine point.
Being My Master’s Kajira means love. Mutual love. An exchange of love such as I have never experienced before. Most claim to be in love or claim to love their partner because that is what you are SUPPOSED to say/ feel in a relationship. A lot of people lives out their lives this way, never questioning what society has drilled into their brains as the “norm”. Very few have been made happy by this, but they continue on for lack of anything better to think of. It’s all an act – it’s fake. I know because that’s what I did. I play acted because that was the expectation. The emotions I feel pulsing between my Master and myself are deeper and more real than anything I have ever seen or even heard of. He loves me for my spirit, my soul, and of course my service to Him. I love Him for His strength (both mental and physical), His soul (the depths of which enfold me in unending warmth and protection), and What He promised me in return for my service, His promise to handle all that comes our way with swift action and an unwavering heart.
Now we get to exploration. I’ve always felt a pull toward the “dark side” so to speak. Not BDSM, not that far (no offense to those that choose that path, to each their own), just something more than Vanilla relationships. (By the way, I LOVE that term for “normal” society!). And being sexually dominated was definitely the strongest initial draw into this lifestyle for me, no doubt about it. But afterward, I found so many other reasons to stay. So many other reasons that hold me fast, and continue to pique my curiosity. Like Commitment.
Commitment? Yes, as a slave I am expected to surrender my heart, body, spirit and soul to another. Is that in any way shape or form easy? Especially for the self-proclaimed Queen of Leave Me the Hell Alone and I’ll Do It Myself? Of course not. I’m beyond terrified. But to hold back from my Love would not only be an exercise in futility because he can read me like a book, but it would cheapen the whole experience. Yes, as Kajira I am expected to serve Him. Do I think I will magically transform into Martha Stewart, Julia Child, and June Cleaver all rolled up in one? Hell no. But, I DO know I will learn what my Master likes, what His expectations of me are, and attend to Him accordingly. If Master wanted a robot he could have very easily gone out and gotten one. No, He wants flesh and blood- lovingly molded and trained to his liking. As I learn, I will grow. And as I grow I will please Him. And there is no greater pleasure in this world. I so look forward to my future at His side!
I’m Dara, and I’ve only recently been introduced into this lifestyle by my Master. We don’t live together right now, but will within the next 6 months. Until then, our dynamic is slightly curtailed due to family and children. I am increasingly intrigued by what I am discovering, and am excited to continue to learn and grow into a Kajira my Master can be proud of! You can also contact me using this same screenname on www.kajira.org!