Tips for Learning New Rules and Structure

Full Question: Can you give me some advice to handle better the transition period of getting rules and structure and sticking to it?

Answer: 

Learning new behaviors and habits will always be a challenge, and that’s what rules and structure are from your Dominant partner. So, if you attack them like any other goal, it can be much easier to adapt. 

Create a plan to learn and stick to new rules. If you work well with habit trackers or just stickers on a calendar tracking your consistency, keeping a log of your adherence to the new rules and structure will help you stick to it. 

Create a calendar and write your new rules and behaviors on it. Every day, refer to it and check off all the things you were able to accomplish. Aim to improve our remain consistent the following day. Celebrate progress.

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It takes 30-90 days to learn a new habit, and rules or structure from a new relationship will be the same type of timeframe. 

If you feel overwhelmed, you may be trying to do too much all at once. Ask your partner to only give you a few new rules at a time. Anyone who gets a stack of rules all at once is destined to make mistakes or fail at them. 

D/s relationships are for the long haul, and you can’t expect to know and be perfect at everything immediately. 

Also, be kind and patient. You will make mistakes, and you will forget sometimes. Allow yourself some grace until the new rules and structure become a natural part of your life.

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