Can I just be really honest with you today? You know what one of the hardest parts about blogging has been for me?
It’s that some readers want me to be perfect.
I know they’d probably never say out loud, “I expect you to be a perfect submissive,” but if I admit that I don’t know the answer to their situation or that I can’t write about a particular topic, they are disappointed and they voice that disappointment.
Here’s the thing: I understand that part of blogging in a public forum is that people assume that I’m ready with all the answers, especially when I have ten years in the lifestyle and I write about submission and slavery almost every day. I’m experienced so why shouldn’t I know everything, right?
More and more, though, I’m becoming okay with it. Because I realize that it’s exhausting to try to please everyone.
I don’t have it all together.
I sometimes don’t do all of my chores.
I snap back at KnyghtMare occasionally.
I can and do get in trouble.
I don’t know a lot about roles and dynamics that I’ve not experienced.
And sometimes I change my mind and the opinion I once had no longer applies.
Last month I announced that I wasn’t going to do Nanowrimo again this year and while I did get a lot of support from readers, there were a few of you who messaged me disappointed that I wasn’t going to push myself to meet my annual goal of content creation. That perhaps Submissive Guide was going to suffer because of my decision.
And then when I mentioned in my Reflections recently that I was struggling with growing older because I had failed to achieve my weight loss goals yet again I got even more messages from people giving me unsolicited diet advice and others shocked that I didn’t have the best body image or that I failed at a goal when I seem to be so put together.
I’m sure my readers meant well, but in each case, they don’t know me personally or my situation. They didn’t know that I’ve fought severe writer’s block and a disinterest in blogging in general. They also didn’t know that I’ve done some form or weight loss efforts for over 20 years and it’s clear I know how to research weight loss tips and tricks. I have to do what’s best for myself and my situation. I have to follow my own advice and give myself some grace – even if it means disappointing some of you.
What I’m learning though is that as I share my struggles and difficulties that while I disappoint some of my readers, I am helping so much more realize that I’m just like they are and that I falter too. We’re in this together.
I’d rather disappoint a few people and be honest and transparent than pretend that I have it all together and make some people feel like they can’t measure up.
None of us have it together. None of us are perfect. But we can learn from each other, cheer each other on when we falter and get inspired by our successes.
When we are honest with ourselves and with others, we are stronger for it. Who’s with me?