Full Question: What’s a good way to bring up your BDSM interests to see if a counselor or therapist is accepting of kink?
Answer:
I understand how you would want to find a therapist who understands and accepts alternative relationships and sexuality so that you have a safe space for your therapy.
As with any therapist, you should inquire about the clinician’s education, licensing, and experience treating others who share your background. You should feel safe with the therapist and that your autonomy and identity are honored. Don’t be afraid to ask for someone for your specific needs; it could reduce the amount of therapist shopping you may face.
When you open up about your sexual identity, you are at your most vulnerable. A kink-allied therapist will help you feel seen and heard and give you a safe, judgment-free atmosphere. And finding a knowledgeable therapist will help eliminate the extra time you might have to spend explaining the basics of your relationship, kink identity, or sexual identity to get them up to speed.
When you bring up your kinks or alternative relationships, demonstrate confidence and comfort with who you are; if you show discomfort, they could treat that as being how you feel about kinks instead of how afraid you may be sharing it with them.
My therapist wasn’t aware of kink relationships in depth that I was going to be talking about, so we spent an entire session educating her on it. Then, to her credit, she did her research to provide me with the safe space I needed. It’s been a great connection because of the effort on her part to understand what a healthy D/s relationship looks like.
Finding a therapist can be stressful, but the relationship you build with them will go a long way to a healthy life.
Kink-friendly therapist lists:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists/sex-positive-kink-allied
