The other day I read a post on a forum where a new submissive had asked if there was a reason she was turned down from a Dominant who said she was too eager. She wanted to know why eagerness was seen as a detriment to a new relationship when all she wanted to do was to please and serve in whatever capacity the Dominant wanted. Being too eager can endanger your rational thought, your emotional and physical well-being and create a line for Dominants to take advantage of you. Here’s where eagerness gets tricky.
Eagerness is a positive trait when exhibited in small amounts or directed at specific activities. It’s great to be eager to try something new or explore a new restaurant in town. It’s also nice to be eager to please when you have a Dominant and you exactly what they need from you. Eagerness in an existing relationship can breathe spice and energy into your dynamic because you both know what to expect from each other and personal safety is a responsibility for you both.
But it turns to a more negative thing if when you are brand new or single, that you begin to disregard common sense, personal safety or naïvety. When you are brand new submissive and embrace that about you there may come a moment that you ache to do anything at all to please someone and that’s where you can get too eager.
Imagine the danger you could put yourself into if you meet a Dominant online and that night you go meet him without securing your safety, setting up a safe call or knowing anything about them. Sure you are eager to please and want to be submissive “so badly” but it is never a good thing to forget your common sense altogether.
Eagerness can also be Frenzy.
Be careful about calling what you are feeling as eagerness when it might actually be Sub Frenzy. Frenzy is the intense ache to do everything and anything right away, all at once. It’s like withdrawal from an addiction. You just got to have it, and you must have it now. Submissives in Frenzy will show a lack of common sense and reckless behavior leading to desperation. Is your excessive eagerness really frenzy?
Don’t be desperate.
So, as you can see, being overly eager when not already in an existing relationship is a sign that you are not in control and a danger to yourself and others. For not only could you be injured emotionally or physically but anyone that engages with you could regret it as well. How many predators or men who just don’t mean you well do you think lurk online looking for desperate to serve submissives just like you, who will do anything the ask without personal regard? Sure you may not be talking to one right now, but how can you tell in your altered state?
Ultimately, what we all need to learn when we are new is restraint. There are times for eagerness to please and there are levels that are acceptable in the beginning. If we learn how to keep a lid on our desires that are bubbling over then perhaps we can use them to positive effect. Your desires to be submissive will still be with you after you learn more about yourself as a submissive and about the type of person and relationship that will work for you. So restrain yourself. You’ll know when you are really ready to engage in submission freely, with someone you trust.