Full Question: Do you think that someone can lose their submissive side? And how do they get it back?
Answer:
I feel if you identify as submissive, you can’t actually lose it, but you can lose sight of why you are submissive and what your focus in submission is. I get visibly angry at the world when I’m not in a mood conducive to submission. These are definitely the days where I’m thinking, “Get your own damned coffee!”
Well then, when you have a day where you wake up and just don’t feel submissive, what do you do? How can you reclaim your submissive mindset?
1. Take a Time Out
A time-out does not have to be a full relationship break. Even just an hour or so on your own, practicing a hobby you enjoy, going to the mall, meeting with friends, just something that isn’t D/s related can help recharge your batteries. If this includes time apart, then do that.
2. Talk About It
When you’ve reached an edge and you need to take a moment, it’s time to talk to your partner about it.
3. Perform a Refocusing Ritual
Adding a ritual to your every day (week/month) that helps to remind you that submission is not only work but beautiful can help keep you from freaking out and needing to break away for a time.
4. Let It All Out – On Paper
Sometimes the best therapy is pen and paper therapy. What you write about doesn’t matter – you will likely not save it anyway. It might be worth keeping in a journal if you find yourself writing about similar issues repeatedly.
5. Accept That You Are Human
The next time you feel like breaking free or breaking something, just remind yourself that even as a submissive, you have to start out as human.