I’m always amazed at the number of submissives that contact me who are in online-only relationships; even though that is how I started with KnyghtMare. An online relationship is unique in that you are connecting with each other emotionally and mentally before physical attraction has a chance to impact your decisions.
Just the other day I had someone contact me and ask me if I thought they were ready to go from online to real life D/s. From the very small amount of information that was given to me, I came up with the following response and felt that it was worth sharing with you as well.
Coming from an online relationship myself I can understand the strong desire to experience what you are fantasizing about in real life. The men and women Dominants online sound fantastic and perfect. The sub frenzy can overcome your thinking to the point that you don’t hear the common sense voice telling you what is logical and what is pure fantasy. I know it. Overcoming that urge is hard. Reading my article on Humbled Females titled, “Recapturing Common Sense” might help you come to grips with frenzy and find your common sense.
But, if you have to go to strangers to ask if you are ready to go from online to real life with someone (or anyone)? My answer is no, you aren’t ready. Leaving an important one like this to strangers and acquaintances isn’t the right way to know what’s good for you or what you are ready for. Once you can answer this question without a shadow of a doubt on your own, then you will be ready.
It sounds like you have a lot of questions and are still unsure of yourself. What I tell novice submissives all the time is that the first step to exploring submission is knowing yourself. Take some time to learn what you might want from a D/s exchange, whether that be a lifetime relationship, or a play partner or something else. Get comfortable with who you are as a bottom/submissive/slave. Then, and only then, should you be comfortable and confident enough to say you are ready to take your online experience offline.
Online D/s is nothing like real time because on the internet you can suspend life. You are in a time bubble, just you and your partner. Chores, bills, family and other commitments rarely get in the way while you are online. Some submissives who start to rely on the internet for their D/s fix find that when they go away from the computer that they never realized how different it is.
When you can say “I am ready” rather than “Am I ready?” it’s time to step out into the world.
If you want a stepping stone to finding someone in real life to participate with, find a group first. If you can’t find a group, then at least another submissive to talk to. You can find a lot of good people on the forums and there’s an excellent list of events and local (to you) groups on FetLife.com