- November’s Special Series – lunaKM’s 30 Days of Submission
- 30 Days of Submission Challenge: Day 1 – Labeling My Submission
- 30 Days of Submission: Day 18 – Communicating Needs and Wants
- 30 Days of Submission: Day 2 – Who has my submission?
- 30 Days of Submission: Day 3 – That Submissive Feeling
Read the entire series – go back to the Introduction of the 30 Days of Submission!
Very often the stereotype of submission is that the submissive person loses the ability to have an opinion. While that clearly isn’t true except in the absolute rarest of occasions, how does communication factor into your submission and how do you communicate your desires and needs?
Communication is one of the most important tools in our relationship. I am free to speak my mind at any time and if we are making decisions then I’m always welcome to provide my input. While I don’t have any say on his final decision, other than “yes Master,” I do know he takes my thoughts into account.
Now, conveying my wants and needs is pretty easy now that I’ve gotten used to the fact that everything going on with me he is aware of. Our lives are pretty transparent and he insists that I keep nothing from him. From my well-being from day to day to my worries and concerns. He’s to know everything. If I need something he’ll offer and if I want something he’ll decide if it’s within his purview to grant it.
I understand why people have difficulty communicating to their partners. As a society, we often teach my example that couples maintain secrets from each other and sometimes have separate lives. I remember many times where my mom would whisper while we were out somewhere, ‘don’t tell your father,’ and we all learned that mom kept secrets from dad. I only assumed he did the same.
So it only makes sense that as we grew up and started in relationships of our own we would think they’d have similar guidelines to the ones we were exposed to. It’s hard to learn that communication really is valuable and can bring a couple even closer together.
You can participate in the 30 Days of Submission too! Check out this post and make sure you leave your responses in the Subguide Club under the correct day!