Read the entire series – go back to the Introduction of the 30 Days of Submission!
Do you include financial submission within the definition of your own submission and if yes, how does it manifest itself? If no, is there a particular reason why? Are you familiar with the concepts of financial submission? Do you have an opinion about financial submission in general?
I didn’t always submit to financial control. While as a couple we discussed what to do to pay community bills we didn’t have any management agreement as far as what to do with the money I was earning. That changed drastically when I lost my last job and KnyghtMare decided he wanted me to stay home. Not only was he going to be the sole breadwinner, but any money I did make through my websites was going to be managed by him.
At first, I still did the budget and paid the bills, but had no money of my own. I had to ask to buy anything that wasn’t pre-approved and all money decisions were his to make. Then we got into a mess where I did calculations incorrectly and had two over overdrawn checks go through the account.
We discussed it and he took over budgeting and I was to continue getting things approved. It didn’t last long because he didn’t keep records like we needed them done for the business and rarely knew when bills were due so I was always asking him if he had paid X or Y.
So, he gave the budget back to me with the rule that the only thing I can pay without pre-approval is the monthly expenses. I rarely have cash, I don’t have an allowance. But if I need something, or even desire something he’s pretty good at seeing the value in it and letting me get it or telling me to wait.
A unique quirk of our dynamic is that KnyghtMare doesn’t handle any money. I pay for things, sign the check and navigate the checkout lines. It’s expected of me to tip well and to be polite. I’ve often wondered if people see me as a dominant personality when he steps back for me to process payment on things.
Financial control happens in a lot of relationships, even if they don’t identify as D/s. Someone is usually more organized with money and more responsible or has more experience. Makes no difference to me if he tells me what I can and can’t get. He knows best.
You can participate in the 30 Days of Submission too! Check out this post and make sure you leave your responses in the Subguide Club under the correct day!