One of the first questions a new submissive asks themselves is are they normal for desiring the things they do. This could be kinky sex, humiliation or service. Anything that appears to fall outside the vanilla umbrella can cause a novice to question if they are normal. This, in fact, is normal. Everyone questions themselves […]
Am I Normal? Exploring Normalcy in BDSM Relationships Read More »
Submissives all around will identify with one or more of these terms: discipline, obedience, structure, and rules. I’m a submissive that needs structure. With structure can come rules, and that’s how my submission best functions in my dynamic with KnyghtMare. I serve him by actively following the rules that govern the structure of my day.
The Importance of Rules and Structure in D/s Relationships Read More »
The word ‘training’ is a stumbling block for many novices and experienced submissives alike. The reason for this is that so many define training as the organized learning of behavior and activities in structured sessions or steps and that once complete, your training is complete. Let’s dispel that myth right now. Submissive and slave training
Why the Word ‘Training’ Confuses Novice Submissives Read More »
There are mentors in every area of life and situation. In BDSM, newbies are sometimes recommended to pick up a mentor but are never given the tools to find a mentor that is right for them. I know that when I first started, there were good people to be around and not-so-great people that left
4 Things to Look for in a BDSM Mentor Read More »
Explore the emotional side of sub drop, why it can be more intense in committed BDSM relationships, and how to recover. Understand the unique challenges beyond the physical aspects of sub drop.
The Emotional Side of Sub Drop and Why It Happens More In Committed Relationships Read More »
Romance gets lost in the rush of work, family, kids, and obligations but a romantic bath is not only relaxing, it can create intimacy between you and your partner. In Ancient Rome and Egypt, bathing in scented oils was a prelude to lovemaking. Giving a bath to someone else is not only romantic but a
Personal Grooming Service Skills: How to Give a Romantic Bath Read More »
Sometimes you just need that extra bit of help out of your day or want to have all the tips and tricks on a certain activity. Well, I have pulled together some of the best websites out there that will help you get through your difficult day in a breeze. 1. TipNut.com – This site has all
10 Organization and Home Management Websites for the Busy Submissive Read More »
On FetLife quite awhile back now, a slave posted her version of a rosary with her Master as the focus. As with any rosary or prayer beads, it is used in meditation and presents a spirituality in service that can be adopted and adapted to fit your relationship. I’ve always had a curiosity with religious artifacts and items used
A Great Example of a Slave’s Rosary Read More »
A recent journal prompt I came across really inspired me to write about it. It is spirituality. A lot of what I hear about spirituality is related to religion, but BDSM can be spiritual too and I’d like to explore that with you. What is the relationship between spirituality and religion? Is BDSM spiritual? — Submissive
Finding Your Spirituality In Service Read More »
I read on an online forum recently about the stigma that a Master or Dom should be manly or masculine. So many replied that they agreed and had found a Dominant that was physically stronger than they were. I was not in agreement and questioned why they idea of masculinity was associated with Dominance. No
Stereotyping Submission as Feminine Read More »
Continuing the work on your training resume, I’d like to talk about mapping out how you dream of your submission being. This is a discussion of ideals and dreams. You can be as fanciful as you want right now, we will narrow things down as we go along. There are 3 things I’d like to focus
How To Use Mind Mapping To Pinpoint Your Ideal Submission Read More »
Looking for your partner is challenging, no doubt about it. You’ve probably done the bar scene, the alternative adult dating sites, and maybe a few of the vanilla ones too. No matter where you look you find men or women that just aren’t your type. I’m here to say that it is possible to find
How To Meet Your Perfect Dominant? Read More »
Today’s post comes from May (follow her @readheadgirl) a writer and artist. For the longest time when I heard “polyamory,” I thought of hippies in the 70s having orgies at drug parties. I blame my misconception on why I took so long to realize that I am a polyamorous person. Like me, many people have the
What Is Polyamory Anyway? Read More »
The third question I received for March Question Month is: My owner frequently forgets his own deadlines, rules, etc, be them for me or for his own things. how do I help him without being a nag? I have tried setting up calendars, but he forgets to look at them. This can be a challenge,
Service Skills: Helping Your Owner with Deadlines Read More »
The second question I received for March question month came to me in my email. I’m a strong person, but something in me was missing…until I admitted what I really am. I’m engaged, I love my boyfriend very much, but I decided to open my heart to him and he’s really doing his best to
How You Can Help Your Partner Become More Dominant Read More »
My first question for March Question Month is about making the mental switch from work to home life. I know from experience that this is a very difficult time for both the Dominant and the submissive. You could have had an intense day at work, or the submissive is in a position of power at
Leaving Work at the Door: How to Find Your Submissive Mindset Once You Are Both Home Read More »
Recently there has been a lot of talk about Feminism and its role in society where it’s related (or not related) to submission in a D/s context. I read kaya’s post from Under His Hand, that while being a rant, was a well thought out discussion on how narrow-minded a lot of feminists are who
Is Submission in Opposition to Feminism? Read More »
“What one has not experienced, one will never understand in print.” -Isadora Duncan I began my journey into D/s and BDSM in online chat rooms; namely those on IRC (BDSM-Net and Bondage.com). I knew nothing of what the lifestyle would be for me, only the fantasy that I lived when I got home from class
Real Life vs. Online, the Battle for Understanding Both Styles of Relationships Read More »
Rules, instructions and assignments are things that are given to me by my Dominant for very important reasons. To follow them should bring me the pride and happiness that I feel for him, and remind me that he cares for me. Rules are in place to keep me in line, place my heart and mind
How Rules In a D/s Relationship Can Have a Positive Effect on Your Submission Read More »
Everyone has gone through bouts of depression at one time or another. For some, it’s practically debilitating and others can handle it in stride without much of a bat of the eyelashes. I recently recovered from a long time depression with the help of medications and my Dominant’s caring. It’s never an easy process, but
Managing Depression as a Submissive and How Your Dominant Can Help Read More »
