So, you want me to tell you how you can tell if you are submissive or not? Asking someone else if you are submissive is like asking a blind man what color your dress is. Is there some magical online quiz that can say whether you are submissive or slave? Unfortunately no and I don’t […]
I love reading BDSM fiction, erotica and other service books. I broke my kinky teeth on the Story of O so I can’t ignore it on this list, but it’s not the best of the best. I’d like to offer up the books that I love and enjoy to read; most of which I like
Best BDSM Fiction for Hot Steamy Nights Read More »
I’ve been witness to a shocking new trend in relationships lately. Perhaps I’m old school or old-fashioned but what I’m seeing in today’s society, and not just the BDSM culture, is the lack of effort in relationships. As I was raised I was taught that something worthwhile wasn’t always easy to achieve and you may
Protocol. It can be a scary word if you are new to submission. In a relationship, it is likely that you will have some protocol established to control your behavior. So, what is protocol? Simply defined, a protocol is the set of special rules that you follow for defined situations that remind you of your
How to Revive Your Service When Protocol Becomes Boring Read More »
A very common first request of a potential Dominant, either online or offline is to have you start a submissive journal. If you’ve never kept a diary then this can be a daunting task. Having to write openly and honestly about your feelings and experiences can have a huge impact on your submissive and personal development.
How To Start Your Submissive Journal Read More »
Being an emotionally healthy person is a goal that all of us have but a smaller margin actually accomplish. With the constant stress of commitments and modern day obligations, our emotions face the brunt of it. The goal of a submissive is to seek that balance in emotional states so that our service appears stress-free
Living as an Emotionally Healthy Submissive Read More »
I love surfing the submissive blogs to see what other people are talking about. Many times it gives me something to talk about here on this site. This post is one such example. Over on Underhishand.com, kaya asked about submission and what qualifies it as submission. She asked, “if you are not expected to do
Is It Submission If You Like What You’re Doing? Read More »
So, you’ve met submissives and slaves online, their Dominant and Master counterparts but as you get to know them and how they interact you start to see the things they do blurring the lines of what you had believed a submissive was, or that a slave wasn’t supposed to act this way, etc. It brings
Should There Be Clear Definitions to Label Yourself In This Lifestyle? Read More »
I’ve always believed that safewords are only good if you know how to use them. Good ole communication is great for things like numb limbs, an itch you can’t reach or a bathroom break. Submissive Guide is here for novices and it’s always good to teach about safewords and recommend that you have one. In
The Safety Disguise of Safewords: Safewords Are Not Always Safe Read More »
Today’s guest post is by dina from Kajiradreams. You can also read her post on what it’s like to be an owned kajira and a kajira’s strengths and misconceptions. There is so many stereotypes, misconceptions of what a kajira is; what gor is; what the Gorean lifestyle is; what a BDSM lifestyler looks like; what that sort of relationship
The Challenges of Being Kajira in Today’s Society Read More »
This is another guest post by dina of kajiradreams. She continues her thoughts on Gor and the life of a kajira. You can also read her thoughts on what it’s like to be an owned kajira. The strengths of a kajira and the misconceptions of what a kajira is and does. And what strengths better a kajira
Strengths and Misconceptions of Kajira Read More »
Today’s guest post is by dina from Kajiradreams. She’s donated a few posts for this week on Gorean Living so watch for them in the coming days! My Master gave me the task of writing down my thoughts on what it means to be an owned kajira. I can only ever write this from my own feelings and own
What It Means to Be an Owned Kajira Read More »
You know you’ve entered online submissive ground when everyone you don’t know starts to refer to you as a sister. It’s been years since I’ve ‘lived’ online but this is something that has always irked me. Recently on FetLife, I saw a question that had an interesting twist to the whole sister submissive thing that I’d like
Don’t Assume Submissive Means Sister: Calling Me Your Sub Sister May Be a Bit Much Read More »
Your training resume should be growing in bulk and excellent information if you’ve been following along and developing your sections fully. We are now going to work on your community exposure section. What I mean by community exposure are all the classes, extended weekends, get aways and other events you’ve attended in your past that
Add Convention, Class and Event Notes to your Submissive Training Resume Read More »
At the beginning of this blog, I wrote about safewords. Just a reminder that a safeword is a signal that ends BDSM play and usually negotiated before play. It’s an excellent starting point but I left a part of it out. There will be occasions during BDSM play where you will be unable to speak. In
Nonverbal Ways to Safeword Read More »
A few months ago I started a list of things you can do to improve your submission immediately. If you want to see what’s on that list, you can find that post in the archives. I’d like to continue to add to that list because there are always things you can do but may not see
Another 7 Things You Can Do Today to Improve Your Submission Read More »
It can be terrifying approaching a Dominant and asking them to play with you. The butterflies in your belly can make it very difficult to take that first step. It can be even worse if you two don’t negotiate the scene to get what you want out of it, and they do too. Negotiating a
The Basics of Negotiating a BDSM Scene Read More »
Competition is human nature. From the time we are children we start to see who is ‘better’ and hopefully, that is you. It could be as simple as having more ice cream than your sibling thus making you better or getting the best grade on a test, making you better than everyone else in the
My Submission is Better Than Your Submission: Advice About Competition Read More »
This is another guest post by Christian, a switch male in a D/s relationship. (If you would like to submit a guest post to Submissive Guide, please read the guidelines before contacting me, thanks!) It seems there is a lot of interest in switches on the Internet, and being a switch myself I can speak on that
A Switch of the D/s Lifestyle Read More »
A check in is where either partner provides clues as to their comfort, pain tolerance, pleasure level or other information during a scene or play session. Even the most experienced players continue to check in with their partners during play; it is a good practice to have. Whether you are playing with your partner or
How to Use Playtime Check Ins Wisely Read More »
