“What are your limits?” “Scat, blood, the dead and kids.” “You must be new.” “Huh?” “Only the novices have so few limits.” This is a real conversation. It happens all over the net and in munch groups. Sure there are no-limits slaves out there, but that’s just not as common as the rest of us. We come
Limits: Drawing That Line In The Sand Read More »
“Go to a munch!” That’s advice that you will often hear when you start exploring the BDSM lifestyle. But what is a munch? What can you expect from the people there? And what should you do to attend? Why should you attend a munch? This is often the first step in exploring the BDSM lifestyle
What to Expect When Attending a Munch Read More »
This is a guest post by Aria. She has written for Submissive Guide in the past, you can check out her post on Two Dominants here . Today she brings a common Poly Relationship question – jealousy to light. Yes! Almost all of us have felt jealousy at one time or another. The best thing
If I feel Jealousy, can I still be Poly? Read More »
When I was a novice submissive, one of the questions I got asked pretty regularly online was, “do you have any training?” Well, no I don’t think I had. What was training anyhow? Where do I go to get it? What would I be learning? Now that my novice days are behind me I don’t
Formal Training – Do You Need It? Read More »
One of my earliest fantasies, or dreams actually, was the idea of being owned by someone and I envisaged the whole notion of belonging to someone much more simple and much more ‘me’ than the concept of being obedient or submissive as such. I wanted to belong more than I wanted to obey. I am
The Value of a Slave Read More »
As a submissive, it can be easy to get into the habit of trudging along in a daily routine. You know what you should be doing: for some, the routine is detailed out hour to hour or even more so. You get comfortable and secure in the routine because you are confident that you are
What is the “Spirit of the Rule” Read More »
This is a guest post by SkylerPet. She has written a Pet Play Primer on this site and answered a question I sent her from a reader about what a human pet is. Pet play is something I’ve spoken of before and enjoy engaging in myself. For many though, they’d like to be pets, just not animals.
A Human Pet – Exploring Pet Play and Owner/pet Relationships Read More »
Everyone has to start here. The very beginning, where all the jargon of BDSM starts to fill your mind and overwhelm your feelings. You think you are a pervert, or not normal. You could even be trying to suppress those kinky thoughts from your mind. But they keep creeping back in, don’t they. For the brave souls that start searching for
Those First Few Baby Steps into BDSM and Submission Read More »
This guest post was written by Rick’s Fucktoy. It was first published on Sensual Service which I closed when I opened Submissive Guide. It’s a concept that I can understand so clearly in my head, yet I have been struggling to find the words that will explain it to someone who might read my thoughts
On Being Worthless: Consensual Humiliation and Slut Training Read More »
This is the second installment in my Kink and Mental Health series. For a little background on my experience with mental health issues, please read the first. I have a tendency to think every tiny mishap I go through is the end of the world. “Oh my god. I just spilled a cup of sand into
Kink and Mental Health: Real Emotion v. Mental Illness Read More »
One of the many unique things about being a submissive is that you can focus your development any which way you choose. You can focus on service or sex, kinky play or happy devotion. Your submission can be part time, full time or somewhere in-between. No one should judge you for how you want to
A Slave Heart – Do You Have One? Do You Need One? Read More »
This is a guest post by Darkrose. BDSM relationships make the argument on abuse much more complicated than it already is, and those in TPE relationship have an even harder time than that. For non-kinky people it’s pretty easy to define abuse. Webster’s Dictionary defines abuse as “improper use or handling, misuse, physical maltreatment, insulting
The Abuse Debate: A Matter of Acceptance Not Consent Read More »
BDSM immediately conjures up images of a whip-wielding Dominatrix punishing some poor submissive who is screaming in pain. As delightful as that image is, not everyone who is a bottom or submissive is in this lifestyle to experience pain. It must be daunting for the newbie who does not enjoy pain to come to a
Submitting to Pain When You Are Not a Masochist Read More »
Contracts are a sticky subject in discussions. I’ve briefly covered it before in this article. The opinions are all over the place as far as their value or use as a tool for relationships. I can understand why they are a common thread in forums all over the place. A contract is a physical document outlining the
Using Contracts in D/s Relationships Read More »
I am bi-sexual, and I have been ever since I can remember. When I was young I obviously didn’t know the way I felt were the first signs of bi-curiosity because the roots of things are never clear back at the time and only make sense much later on! My first experiences Not long after
The Female of the Species: Bisexuality and Identifying as Submissive Read More »
(Caveat: I am not an expert historian of BDSM. What I have learned I picked up along the way. I can’t say with certainty what is true and what is false. I have made every effort to let you know if I’m uncertain of the validity of a certain claim.) If your only view of
The Popularity of BDSM Read More »
These days there are so many chemicals out on the market that we don’t really know what kind of damage they can do to our bodies most importantly, as well as our clothes, furniture and so on. One of the biggest causes of health problems is allergic reactions to these chemicals. It’s time to get
Domestic Service Tips: Green Recipes for Home and Health Read More »
An activity in the Community area asks for everyone to start a 30 minute beauty routine once a week; taking time to care for your most important asset: yourself. When you start caring for your body and health one of the first things we think about is better skin. I’ve tried all of the different
5 Homemade Facial Recipes Read More »
UPDATE: New Post – How to Use FetLife Just under 3 years ago the BDSM community was a very differnet place. There has always been discussion boards and chat rooms. We could always connect via mySpace and Facebook, but there was never a centralized social network. Until FetLife came into being. I joined the site when
What FetLife Has Done To Change The Kink Community Read More »
There’s a lot of debate, in our kinky little corner of the worldwide web, about kinky people who have mental health issues. What kinds of problems they cause, how to keep them from destroying the mood in kinky venues, whether or not D/s (and the structure that often comes with it) can help a person
Kink and Mental Health: The Background Read More »
