This is a guest post by kahluna. It’s funny to me to see people wanting a Dominant but then looking for “chemistry” as well. They want to fall in love with the Dominant of their dreams. Apparently, these submissives have come into the lifestyle thinking that a Dominant is BDSM’s version of Prince Charming. Ladies, He […]
Why The Prince Charming Dominant Doesn’t Exist Read More »
Relationships of any type are unique and special to those involved in them. But how many types of relationships are there? The answer is related to how many people their are. As each person enters into a relationship their expectations are different and varied. This forms the unique mesh that is a relationship. We can,
5 Types of Power Exchange Relationships Read More »
The bedroom in most homes is supposed to be a refuge from the stress of the world; to reconnect with your partner and to recharge after a hard day at work. However, it is commonly the last room people clean and organizes to suit their needs. I know in our house the bedroom is often
Domesticity: The Bedroom Read More »
Not long ago I had someone ask me privately why I feel the need to help submissives with this website, and what qualifications I have to tell people how to improve themselves. And it’s true that I don’t have any life coaching training or experience with counseling, but for what I do here only one
BDSM checklists are often one of the first things you hear about when you begin your journey into BDSM and submission. Looking at a complex checklist you found on www.onewaytodobdsm.com (not a real site) can have you obsess over every term you don’t know. I’ve even written about checklists several times on SubmissiveGuide.com. But when it comes
What’s The Big Deal With BDSM Checklists? Read More »
I’m sitting here, staring at the blank page, turning over and over in my mind what I could possibly write about. There’s so much information, here at Submissive Guide, already, that I’m not even sure where to begin. The beginning’s where I usually start. But I think I’m going to start with what was almost
Honest Communication or Bust Read More »
Has your Dom/me ever tied you in a position where if you move one way this part of your body gets stressed or pulled, and if you move another way, that part of your body gets tugged or pinched? If so, then you have experienced predicament bondage! Predicament bondage can be simple or complex and playful or painful. It
Stress in Play with Predicament Bondage Read More »
Another question from March Question Month comes from Coco: I am curious about what your thoughts on those who admit to participating underage are? I have been referred to as “vanilla” for being uncomfortable with those who identify/have identified as submissives and slaves at/from a very young age. I can understand experimenting at a young
What I Think about Underage Experimentation and Submission Read More »
This is a question tammy asked for March Question Month: I have had a few Doms and I am in a relationship where I live with one.I didn’t think I could find someone that makes me this happy but I did. The problem is I keep thinking about my first Dom that introduced me into
Are You Cheating on Your Dominant With Your Ex Dominant’s Memory? Read More »
This month is March Question Month, and Trinity asked: Does one know how to obtain collars that do not look like collars..so one can be worn at all time with out so called vanilla’s asking about it…? When people think of collars, they usually picture something an animal would wear. Supple leather with a big buckle, or
Thoughts on Public Vanilla Acceptable Collars Read More »
For March Question Month Cilla Noir asks: How do you handle your serious mood swings or when something just “sets you off”? When you go from one end of the spectrum to another – sometimes justified, sometimes not. Normally, when I was on my own, I would just throw a fit. Being back in a
Diffuse Extreme Mood Swings Before They Get You In Trouble Read More »
Many submissives have jobs where they are managers, business owners, or in charge in some way or another. Sometimes it can be challenging to re-enter your submissive head-space at the end of a busy workday. A submissive can use rituals to help them achieve the right mind-space, leaving the outside world behind and regaining the
How I Use Simple Rituals to Regain My Submissive Mindset After A Busy Workday Read More »
Topping from the bottom has been given a bad wrap. It’s considered by many to be a faux pax for any submissive. Online communities shun and shame many people who even ask about the subject and want to know if what they did was considered wrong. Too many people tell these people that yes it
When Is It Okay to Top From the Bottom? Read More »
Every submissive goes though it. You may be going through it now. Those butterflies in your stomach because you’ve just set a date for your first play session. Things are still so new and exciting. You don’t know what to expect or how you will react to things. It’s all so strange and foreign feeling.
First Playtime Jitters and How to Arrive Prepared Read More »
We all have one. FetLife is all the rage, but also we have alt.com, bondage.com, and others where we place ads and identity profiles to get people interested. This interest can be friends or relationship related; it doesn’t matter. What matters is what we broadcast to everyone across our profiles. You need to keep things secure and consider what’s
What NOT to Share on Your Online Profile Read More »
When I first started exploring submission I heard and read numerous times that submission is a gift to the Dominant that accepts it. For a long time, I subscribed to this way of thinking and there is nothing wrong with thinking about your submission this way. I’m not here to tell you that you are
The Gift of Submission, Or Is It? Read More »
Reading across the blogosphere you will encounter these words almost synonymous to each other: Discipline and Punishment. The words are far from the same however some dynamics treat them the same. In fact, for the longest time, I have used the word punishment when I mean discipline. It’s even possible that Master has used these
Are Discipline and Punishment The Same? Read More »
I’ve been developing a submissive code of ethics for myself to help give me long term goals and a focus. I feel it will bring about change in me that perhaps I can’t see yet. I thought I would share it here so that you can perhaps get some ideas for developing your own code
My Submissive Code of Ethics Read More »
Being that I’m a masochist, I love pain. I’ve never really thought about it or analyzed what that means really, but reading other people’s blogs has always helped me see that saying I’m masochist is just another huge personal term in BDSM as a whole. So, to think it though, this is what being a
Processing Pain and Being a Masochist Read More »
This is a guest post by Slut M as a response to SubWise #6 about BDSM Myths. According to the mythological story, a slut is a downtrodden woman who by nature or by circumstances is propelled to debase her body in sexual desires. And so the story goes: these sexual desires control her and her behavior
Sluts: Debunking Another BDSM Myth Read More »
