Protocol. It’s a word that is used in BDSM groups online and off with a sort of secrecy and awe. It’s relegated to those in 24/7 type relationships and rarely discussed as what it really is. Protocol is a defined set of rules and behaviors for special situations. That’s it. You don’t have to be in any […]
Creating a Personal Submissive Protocol Read More »
This is a guest post by SkylerPet. She has written a Pet Play Primer on this site and answered a question I sent her from a reader about what a human pet is. Pet play is something I’ve spoken of before and enjoy engaging in myself. For many though, they’d like to be pets, just not animals.
A Human Pet – Exploring Pet Play and Owner/pet Relationships Read More »
Everyone has to start here. The very beginning, where all the jargon of BDSM starts to fill your mind and overwhelm your feelings. You think you are a pervert, or not normal. You could even be trying to suppress those kinky thoughts from your mind. But they keep creeping back in, don’t they. For the brave souls that start searching for
Those First Few Baby Steps into BDSM and Submission Read More »
This guest post was written by Rick’s Fucktoy. It was first published on Sensual Service which I closed when I opened Submissive Guide. It’s a concept that I can understand so clearly in my head, yet I have been struggling to find the words that will explain it to someone who might read my thoughts
On Being Worthless: Consensual Humiliation and Slut Training Read More »
This is the second installment in my Kink and Mental Health series. For a little background on my experience with mental health issues, please read the first. I have a tendency to think every tiny mishap I go through is the end of the world. “Oh my god. I just spilled a cup of sand into
Kink and Mental Health: Real Emotion v. Mental Illness Read More »
One of the many unique things about being a submissive is that you can focus your development any which way you choose. You can focus on service or sex, kinky play or happy devotion. Your submission can be part time, full time or somewhere in-between. No one should judge you for how you want to
A Slave Heart – Do You Have One? Do You Need One? Read More »
This is a guest post by Darkrose. BDSM relationships make the argument on abuse much more complicated than it already is, and those in TPE relationship have an even harder time than that. For non-kinky people it’s pretty easy to define abuse. Webster’s Dictionary defines abuse as “improper use or handling, misuse, physical maltreatment, insulting
The Abuse Debate: A Matter of Acceptance Not Consent Read More »
BDSM immediately conjures up images of a whip-wielding Dominatrix punishing some poor submissive who is screaming in pain. As delightful as that image is, not everyone who is a bottom or submissive is in this lifestyle to experience pain. It must be daunting for the newbie who does not enjoy pain to come to a
Submitting to Pain When You Are Not a Masochist Read More »
Contracts are a sticky subject in discussions. I’ve briefly covered it before in this article. The opinions are all over the place as far as their value or use as a tool for relationships. I can understand why they are a common thread in forums all over the place. A contract is a physical document outlining the
Using Contracts in D/s Relationships Read More »
I am bi-sexual, and I have been ever since I can remember. When I was young I obviously didn’t know the way I felt were the first signs of bi-curiosity because the roots of things are never clear back at the time and only make sense much later on! My first experiences Not long after
The Female of the Species: Bisexuality and Identifying as Submissive Read More »
(Caveat: I am not an expert historian of BDSM. What I have learned I picked up along the way. I can’t say with certainty what is true and what is false. I have made every effort to let you know if I’m uncertain of the validity of a certain claim.) If your only view of
The Popularity of BDSM Read More »
These days there are so many chemicals out on the market that we don’t really know what kind of damage they can do to our bodies most importantly, as well as our clothes, furniture and so on. One of the biggest causes of health problems is allergic reactions to these chemicals. It’s time to get
Domestic Service Tips: Green Recipes for Home and Health Read More »
An activity in the Community area asks for everyone to start a 30 minute beauty routine once a week; taking time to care for your most important asset: yourself. When you start caring for your body and health one of the first things we think about is better skin. I’ve tried all of the different
5 Homemade Facial Recipes Read More »
UPDATE: New Post – How to Use FetLife Just under 3 years ago the BDSM community was a very differnet place. There has always been discussion boards and chat rooms. We could always connect via mySpace and Facebook, but there was never a centralized social network. Until FetLife came into being. I joined the site when
What FetLife Has Done To Change The Kink Community Read More »
There’s a lot of debate, in our kinky little corner of the worldwide web, about kinky people who have mental health issues. What kinds of problems they cause, how to keep them from destroying the mood in kinky venues, whether or not D/s (and the structure that often comes with it) can help a person
Kink and Mental Health: The Background Read More »
Last February was a difficult month for me. Like many in this failing economy, I found myself without a job. I was stressed and frustrated and knew that it would be very difficult to find another job when the competition was over 7% of the state’s workforce. Master wasn’t going to let me stay frustrated
Having been in the lifestyle for almost two years now, one of the things that I have noticed is that I am facing a lot of issues due to abuse from my past. Not from any Dominant in the lifestyle, just from others in my past. I’ve learned enough that if you have similar past
Serving and Submission after an Abusive History Read More »
In this hustle and bustle world, we are losing an important connection. No, I’m not talking about the internet; we are all plugged and tuned out from the world around us. We seldom recognize the people around us let alone acknowledge them. If your goal is to be a submissive that serves every wish of
How to Be More Aware of Your Self and Surroundings to Improve Your Submission Read More »
One of the most feared activities of a novice is getting up the nerve to meet other people face to face. Yet this is one of the first things that I and many others recommend for those wishing to get into BDSM. I encourage people to learn all they want behind the comfort of a
Getting to Know the Local and Not so Local BDSM Community: Attending Munch Groups Read More »
There is a 21 year age difference between myself and my Master. I am 30 and he is 51. When we met I hadn’t expected we would end up where we are now, which is still together, engaged and very happy! If I had thought he would be my life partner as well as a
Being With an Older Dominant Read More »
